You’re Not Enjoying Your Life - Here’s Why (And How to Change It) - Episode 11

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I love this topic because I've struggled with this so much in my life, and I know you're way better at this than I am. And you've consistently throughout our 15, almost 16-year relationship, you've always like harped on me to be like more present and enjoy the moment and live for right now and don't worry so much about the future. And I couldn't possibly wrap my head around those comments because I struggled so much with anxiety. And I don't know if this is a quote or who it's by or anything like that, but they say, you know, you you create anxiety by living in the future, and you're creating depression if you're living in the past kind of thing. And that's so accurate from my experience, anyways. I create so much anxiety for myself living in the future and always hoping and waiting and aspiring for or working towards or all those things. And I just create an anxiety lifestyle. Like that's that's my everyday life. And I've tried really hard. That's one of the things that I am working on. I've tried really hard to eradicate as much of the anxiety that I can. And it's an everyday process. I have to continuously remind myself to be present and in the moment and not thinking about the future as much as I am used to thinking about the future or waiting for that next thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Um, it's a delicate balance and it's really hard to find that balance because of course you want to have goals and work towards them. But when you're so laser focused on these goals, you are dropping the ball for your present-day life. I mean, you're you've got to be dropping the ball in different areas of like for me, like either I was dropping the ball in marriage or I was dropping the ball in kids, or I was dropping the ball in work or businesses or friends, you know, personal life, whatever that looks like at the moment I go through these, you know, waves. Cycles, yeah, yeah, cycles of where I'm dropping the ball when in reality I just need to keep reminding myself to bring it back to the present moment.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

And again, it's not bad to plan for the future.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

No, there has to be a bound, so yeah. And it's very delicate.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, because a lot of people, you know, they're they have this kind of fire, I think, them to gonna work by goals, right? They plan ahead and they're just very focused on the goals, very focused on the future, what's next, which is great, you know, because yeah, they're later focused to get something accomplished.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Which is how I lived my life. Yeah. Is very much that. And I've just recently kind of come to the conclusion that that's not life.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Yeah, again, plans for the future is something great that we should all do. And every book and every CEO or leader out there stands like, hey, you're not really playing today, you can still apply it. Life is gonna plan for you. Your boss is gonna plan for you. Coworkers, your mom, your aunt, your girlfriend, oh yeah, okay. You know, and then you wonder why things are happening to you if they're not going the way you want it to be out. You're basically like a random state of mind, right? And the universe gonna use you. They just happen to a lot. Like, oh, I'm gonna relax, I'm gonna play night video games, I'm gonna watch TV, I guess what a freaking phone call, or the neighbor, the random neighbors just talk, you know, knock on your door, or your long friend that you've talked in so many years has gone where you're like, Jesus Christ, I just wanted to relax what I guess when you didn't play in debt.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

So what you've always said to me over the years, you know, like I remember living in Connecticut when we had the restaurants and we were like drowning in debt and we owed like payroll taxes and stuff like that. And I was so upset and depressed and anxious and every day, every day, every day, and you were like, Him, just cut it, and you were like, you know, what's gonna be the next thing? And I was like, No, I'm just gonna feel better once we pay these off. I'll feel so much better. You were like, Yeah, but once you pay those off, it's gonna be the next thing. And I was like, No, no, no, I'll just feel so much relief, I'll feel so much better. And you were like, No, no, I'm not buying it. Like, you always have the next thing that you're looking forward to get to, and then you think you're gonna be okay. And sure enough, months after we paid them off. And did anything change for me? No, I was still anxious, and we need to hit our next big goal, whatever it was that we're working on. It just nothing happens when that day comes and we paid off the taxes. It was like still, I had this anxiety brewing in me for the next thing. Like, well, but we still don't have a business that's making money, and we're still we're like in the middle of moving across the country, and or actually we're we're across the country at that point when we paid them off. But yeah, you know, like it was like, well, we still don't have a business that, you know, is making money, and now we need to buy a house, and you know, the kids are getting older, and we need to make sure that we're settled, and whatever, whatever it was stemming from that. But it's like, it's so true, even though I hate to admit that you were right, because as a wife, I don't like to admit that you're right. But it's so very true that I'm just always waiting for it the next thing.

SPEAKER_05 5:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

And in the meantime, my kids are getting older, I'm getting older, you're getting older, and everything's changing, and I still can't enjoy life where I am.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

That doesn't mean that you have to ignore the problems. No. But again, there's like a delicate balance between okay, how much worry can I be, or how often, you know, can I carry this worry and this burden in my mind and just uh completely ruin the present. Because everything's temporary. You know, I realized enough years ago also that everything is temporary. I also told you this before. We're always exchanging experiences, problems, new things. We just don't see it, but you're always exchanging things in like you hate a job, you quit the job, you pay, you get a new job, new shenanigans comes away. Uh within what uh month before you thought, yeah, but I thought this is gonna be the perfect job. Yeah, I'm just basically exchanging and making more money when now you have new problems or different problems, and it continues, right? For some reason we expect this kind of sense of serenity or like, oh yeah, like this is it. No more problems, I'm not gonna quit again. When that doesn't work like that. And then again, we just l lose focus on the present moment. And the present moment is so so important because you know, when you get older, you're gonna think a lot about your past. That's when you're gonna outgo the regrets. So when you put it in perspective, let's say if I just if I'm 80 years old right now, I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna be thinking about like, eh, I remember I went to this West Channel or whatever, and the Crimean or whatever. And I'm just I was so worried. I wish I couldn't you know I wasn't that worried.

SPEAKER_05 7:31

Enjoy the moment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

I wish I was just more happy or present.

SPEAKER_05 7:37

Present.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

Or maybe for my kids or for my friends. You know, so I you really have to think about I think about that more because I know those are the things in the material. It's important to build when you're young and you know, and but I'm pretty sure in the end when you're old and you're sitting in a 2000 bed or in a$1,000 bed, the feeling is gonna be the same, like, man, what did I do with my life? Like, you know, personally, why didn't it miss so many moments? I was maybe busy building this empire or whatever, but it means so much. And already report also you could say, man, I had all the chances in the world. Because we all have chances. You know, we all have each other's. And then when you're old, you don't want to have any regrets. You know, I know we're going to have regrets, but it's trying to minimize those regrets and being in their present moment. It's very, very important. And I that's something that I do every time I go to work. I mean, sure that I give you a kiss goodbye. And I give my daughter a home and a kiss goodbye, just to ensure that I share my love with you. Sure that you know that I love you. Yeah, same with Abre with our daughter. Just to kind of have to make sure that kind of gives them some meaning. But yeah, you know what? Another day, check. You know? That means a lot to me.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

Yeah, I then I I know that you've harped on me about this for years, so I really do try to work on it. Of course, I fought you on it in the beginning, but just because I didn't realize how much I was struggling with anxiety and living with it on a day-to-day basis, I didn't realize how much it was controlling my everyday life. But after we went, we we talked about on the last episode, we went to the Mind Valley event in Florida, Miami.

SPEAKER_05 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

I, you know, at that time I kind of went through this awakening, which we talked about or whatever, but I started to realize this more and more like, yikes, I I haven't been enjoying my life at all, and I've really just been struggling with anxiety and all this. And then what really drove that home for me was the book Power of Now.

SPEAKER_05 9:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Eckert totally, I know that you haven't read it. I recommended you read it. And I still want to absolutely mind-blowing book. Just can't say good enough things about it and how much it helps with my anxiety. I remind myself of that on a daily basis. Just those words, like power of now. Like, I'll say that in my mind all the time because really, you know, with suffering from anxiety, my mind is in these constant loops and these constant, like, I have to constantly remind myself to come back to the present moment. Otherwise, I just kind of spiral in these loops.

SPEAKER_05 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

I was talking about this with a friend today, and we were talking about how she was saying that she spirals on these loops too. And I was like, Well, you know, you have to, and she knows this, so it was just like a friendly reminder. But when like you hear somebody say it, it's like, oh yeah, you're right. I get it. But um, I was just like, Well, are you being present in the moment? Like, are you pulling yourself back into the moment rather than letting yourself spiral about, you know, like the things you didn't do or the things you have to do, or beating yourself up because you think you're being a shitty wife or mom or whatever? And I was telling her, like, that I specifically, like this morning, was in the shower and my mind spiraling about like all the shit I have to do. And then I was like, why am I thinking about that right now? Like, I'm in the shower. It's like a self-care moment. I can be present with that. Do I want to be thinking about like, oh, washing my hair? No. But I also don't want to have anxiety because I have 15 things I need to get done. I don't need to be thinking about those things in that moment. Those things are going to get done when I'm out of the shower. So, like, it all comes back to just like being present in the moment in the shower, washing my hair, whatever it is that I'm doing, brushing my teeth, whatever, getting ready, getting dressed, blah blah blah, whatever. Well, in those moments, I'm always thinking about the things I haven't done or the things I need to do. And it's like either I'm being depressed about the shit I haven't done or did wrong or whatever, or I'm being anxious about the stuff I need to do. And the only one that's suffering is me. I'm the only one beating myself up and I'm getting stuck in these thought loops. Yeah. And it just goes around and around. So I keep telling myself, like, nope, I'm not gonna do that right now. And I'm like, Ken, reel it in. Like, I'm here right now. I have no problems in this specific moment. There is nothing wrong.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

You said again that we're just kind of thinking about the future all the time, or am other problems. One of the things that actually works for me is just taking inventory of what you have. I know other people don't do that. Gratitude. Those that they do it, they just kinda, let's say, for those appraise or many. In the morning they do it. So it's okay, you go over your things. But you're just saying it, but you're really embracing it. Uh, because when once you embrace it, that's that's that's how I do it. When I embrace it in the morning or when I'm in the shower, sometimes I gotta go, you know, try to empower myself and my beliefs, uh how I want the day to go. And I think that kind of gives you kind of your anchors, you're in this kind of state of mind. So I think, but the things I have occasional gratitude, and so just focusing on the problem. We're just focusing on the problem, so you're not fixing anything.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

No.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

And the outcome isn't gonna be anything that you're thinking.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

No, the outcome is it's yeah, and it's also gonna be like creating more problems.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

You have not got to solve her. Uh you probably want to uh think about solutions. You have to try to go that route instead of just focusing on the problem. Try to focus on solutions. Anyway, again, just try to let go.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

That's another book that you That's the one I was talking to earlier about was letting go.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Let go.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Um they're fantastic. My top three favorite. Actually, it's probably my favorite book.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

So those two books, I don't know, these are those, but again, I understand the world from my own perception and for my right advanced. So that goes head in head. And that is such a powerful thing for everyone out there, because we are so here in the US with everywhere, with life, problems, death, family, healthy issues, overweight, underweight, anxiety, depression, other medical related issues. There's so many things. So that one of the things I think are a huge tool, technique, those on terror that are listening and they cannot enjoy any moments because I know there's a lot of people and you are one of them. It's hard for you or for other people to really enjoy the the places or your state of mind where you're at. If it's always you know, have some sort of anxiety. Yeah, the moment such a such a hard way to live. Like you basically know it's just hold this future assistance inside of you and your chest or your mind holding on to what? You think about it. It's crushing you, just have this kind of weight that you just want to draw. But then, like I said with the taxes, okay, and then pay the taxes, and then you drop that weight for 24, 48 hours, and then you It's that I don't really even think I felt necessarily right. Like I did like a little bit, but I was still Yeah, and then you grab on another something else because again, there's this this kind of state of tension in your mind, spirit, soul. Like, but why is that? Again, because you are not really enjoying the presence. You're just letting the world crush you, and then you don't even notice and all that kind of stress leading that way because cancer caused all these, you know, back pains and migraines and all this stuff. And you're wondering, you know, but eating so well, you're gonna try to do your best to be healthy when nothing is working at well. I wonder why. Imagine remove everything. Let's just take away the the food for a moment. Because I know we're gonna have a lot of people now blame all this. Well, we are eating the toxins and food and it's not organic. Let's remove the force.

SPEAKER_05 16:40

That's the truth to that.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

Yeah, let's trust to that. Let's remove that. Just think about the problems. Like it was uh like I was saying a minute ago. You just hold into that so tight.

SPEAKER_05 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

You're just stressed out. You're just like, no, this is killing me. You know, like you say with the taxes, uh I can't breathe, I can't sleep, this is just you know, I can take it, we're gonna get out of this, this is crazy, and then we pay it, and then you're still nothing. Nothing. Yeah. No, you fall into the sink. Now if you want toxin that we eat nowadays, imagine that holding all that pressure and now you eat all this processed food. We're not gonna go there, but that all that is such a crazy uh imbalance in your body, your mind, your head. But yeah, so one of the things that I I recommend, and just to gonna do an event of your life, and really be grateful. Because I think a lot of leaders also talk about when you're grateful, um life gives you more. And that's a very worse thing to say and do, you know, you're grateful that you like it more. The universe for some reason is gonna hate being grateful, yeah. So we're gonna need a little a little bit more of that. But when you hate, hate, hate, hate the stuff, guess what? Okay, we're gonna give you more of that too. But that's what you're state of mind. You're attracting that. Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Yeah, I want to go back to what you were saying about like being in the shower and gratitude and all that, but has, you know, like I said, there is a balance that is so hard to strike between setting goals and actively working towards those goals or like living too much in the future, trying to work towards those goals versus being in the present. There's such a struggle with that balance. That goes back to the conversation I was having this morning with my friend was that you know, she she and I both agree. We always talk about like how when we're in the shower, like we have like epiphany moments and we have like these really great ideas, and we're like, oh crap, I can't wait to get out of the shower and like write this down, you know, that kind of thing. And I know that forget what you talked to me about this before you come up with ideas in the shower because the water's energy, energy is movement, motion, and like you're thinking of ideas or whatever. So that is where historically I have gotten a lot of my good ideas, at least I thought they were good at the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Well, we're in the shower, we cannot try to disconnect. Again, this is your moment, just you, the soap, the water.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I know this isn't going anywhere. We don't want it to help then. I know your mind.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

Just you there trying to really wash your body clean, your mind, your soul, right? And that's why you know that idea comes to radio spell, washing off all these butt vibes, you know.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Yeah, and like energy, like it the water's in motion, it's movement, it's energy. So, like you're energizing your body with other energy. That's the way I look at it. But, anyways, there is something to be said for like, okay, I need to be present at the moment while I'm washing my hair versus shutting down my anxious moments, like, oh my god, I gotta, I gotta, I have so much shit I gotta get done this morning. And I'm going through the lists in my brain, and I'm causing myself to like hurry up and get it done, get it done faster because like I gotta go get this stuff done. And I'm not even like paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm just on autopilot. So there is a huge balance in that. And another big one for her was like when she's on the elliptical and she's like energy moving and she's getting all these ideas, and that's when the ideas strike. But we all have our good days and our bad days, right? And this is what I said to her. We all have our good days and our bad days. If I like have major PMS and I'm bitchy, I'm not gonna go in that shower and have these epicity moments, I don't think. I think I'm gonna go in there and have to talk myself off the ledge, you know. Like I'm thinking about shitty things that happened or shitty things I have to do and I'm stealing it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because I'm already like PMS and not pissed off or whatever, or just in a bad mood, whatever the case may be. But then I'm like, maybe those specific times we need to bring ourselves back to the present moment, versus when I'm in a good mood and I'm doing okay and I'm in the shower and energy is flowing, and then I can let my mind wander and like think about the next best thing, whatever it is that I want to work on or ideas or whatever. So you have to kind of know yourself and gauge where you're at, right? Like you have to know when you're in the mood, when you're in a good mood, you go in, or whatever it is that you're doing doesn't have to be the shower, but you have to be able to kind of read the room, right? And understand where you're at emotionally, stress, all that stuff. So that's how you can kind of gauge what needs to happen that day. Like, do I need to shut my brain down today and just tell it to chill out? Or can I lean into it a little bit and let the creative juices flow?

unknown 21:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Same, same amount of like going to for a walk. The park nature same.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

That one, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Same kind of same thing. You're just wanting, you're just leaving yourself. Yes. Can you think about the issues or the trans while you walk? Yes, we can. And this happened a lot to us by team. How many times we are stressed out? Let's go for a walk.

SPEAKER_05 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

And then your blood starts flowing, you get all sweaty or whatever, and you kind of see nature, your brain kind of starts seeing the scenario, even though it walking and you say your neighbor, right? But whatever is around you triggers, kind of gives you, you cannot allow yourself to give a minute to kind of think about things, you kind of be in the present for a little bit because you are thinking about stuff, problems, but it kind of gives you a little window. Relax. I remember we used to go for a walk and single day before we move towards uh planning and thinking and what we wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

And we were just so in the moment, because I know I've been like always said, you know, you don't want to be in the future at all times. We were planning, we were at the moment, we're thinking where we wanted to go. Right. So we've kind of we're feeling everything. We do it. You know, this is what's happened. It was proven, right? So uh and finally did we've finally moved to Arizona. So those are the things that are really worrying and that we have to acknowledge.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Yeah, a big one for me is I feel huge guilt when I'm not being productive. Like I can't sit still at night on the couch thinking about my yay, and I'm like, I think I didn't move the needle today. I didn't get anything accomplished when when in fact that's not true. Like I get things accomplished every day, even if they're small or minor, whatever. I'm still getting things accomplished, but it's just in my mind, I'm like allowing myself to tell myself the story that I didn't get enough accomplished. I didn't move towards my goal enough today.

SPEAKER_05 24:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

And so it's really hard for me to get in the moment and allow myself to enjoy the night. And a lot of times, like you'll come home from work and I'll be cooking dinner and I'll be like bitchy and pissed off. And you're like, what's your problem? I can't feel your mood. Like when I pulled out of the parking lot at work, which is like 20 miles away or whatever. And I'm like, I'm nah, I'm fine. You know, that kind of conversation. But um it usually is because I don't feel productive and I'm just kind of coming to that epiphany right now in this.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

I'm gonna say the whole day was wasted.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

The whole day was wasted. I feel like I'm sitting here, you know, running uh my kids around and cooking dinner and that to me is super important, but it's also bullshit because it's not moving the needle and it's not moving us forward towards our goals. I know that those things are important, and of course, I'm so grateful to be home, to be able to do that because I used to not be able to be home to do that.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

What happened is that a lot of people think that you know when you're working on a project, we get stuck. This happened to me as well. Like, you want to have this huge results every day. It doesn't work like that in any project.

SPEAKER_05 25:15

No.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

It doesn't work like that. It's to give an example writing a book, let's say you run five pages. Five pages is great, but that's our book.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

So that's the story, the loop that I'm talking about that I would be stuck in. Like you can't, you're writing a book, you only wrote like a couple paragraphs today. But like those might be spectacular paragraphs.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Exactly. It takes your impression also, even though you are writing and you're kind of putting it all together, but then like at the end of the day, like Jesus. Because again, but you're you're going at the future. You're already letting what you accomplished that moment wasn't enough.

SPEAKER_05 25:55

Wasn't enough, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

It wasn't enough. But it is enough, believe it or not, because that was the effort that you put in. Sometimes you just unflow as good as you want, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

And another thing is I remember when we got on vacation, as we do stay cases, you know, I just getting my work emails. And if I get an email and I have a chance to see it, my brain just gonna work well.

SPEAKER_05 26:20

You're not in your present moment. Yeah, and once I turn it off.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

The relief you feel?

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Yeah, like six hours goes by, I'm not getting any emails, and I'm just getting some sort of energy or like stress relief, just to give you an example of how things, other factors are still their present. Because I'm in a very personal view. They're having good meals, nice people, nice place, but then my mind, part of my brain, 40%, is just thinking about ja. Like I said, just get an email and I just kind of like brain goes in auto mouth, autopilot. Right. And that's all right. So you know, uh, just shut off, enjoy your moment with your wife or with your friends or family, and there's something.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Which is another reason why I can't get into the whole like weekend getaways. I know people love their weekend getaways, and I would love to love a weekend getaway. Like there's nothing more that I would love to love than a weekend getaway, but as you know, I need like three to four days to unwind on a vacation, and then I'm like, my body and my mind and my soul and everything can get into like, oh, okay, I'm here to relax and good time. By then, it's we're packing our bags, and I'm like, wait, wait, wait. I I missed the whole thing. Can we start over? And it's the same way since you've known me, same thing historically, every single time we go away. It takes me three, four days to unwind, and then I get into it, and then we're going home, and it's the saddest thing ever because I haven't enjoyed myself.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Yeah, the first three days was just kind of decompressing, dropping the stress.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Dropping, getting into kind of molding these layers of stress, right? Because there was a moment. You're gonna need a drink, you're gonna need okay, let me check the place.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

And or not I need a couple days' sleep. I need to see where I'm at, what's going on, where can we eat, all these things have to play out in my head. And either I get sick on the vacation or immediately when we return from vacation. Yeah. Because my body, I'm always like in the stress survival mode. And then we finally get there, and I'm like, ugh. And then I immediately get sick because I'm finally taking a minute to notice what my body is feeling, and you know, resume and whatever, back to normal. All those things.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

This is funny because everything that we're talking right now, just like uh it's happening to a lot of people right now.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Some people they're just like oh, I know I'm not the only one because I read about this so all the time on forums.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Absolutely. But I know there's some other people they just don't even know what's wrong. They're just so focused, so fixed into whatever is happening, work, family, that they don't even know. They should stop. They don't even know how they turn it off.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Like, you didn't know until I told you. I was like, shut that shit.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

That wasn't necessary.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

It was necessary.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

No, it's not necessary. I want to read that, but I was like, I'm away and not gonna reply or anything. Who wants to have my auto email reply and whatever shit?

SPEAKER_02 29:45

No. Uh when I saw my job, I had that auto email email reply. I didn't have it on my phone. It was only on my computer, which I wasn't bringing with me anymore. I would work computer, and that was it. I didn't think about it, I didn't look at it, nothing. I remember I would totally check out from that shit because it's not my company, it's not my problem. Yeah, that can wait.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

I remember also when I went to a promise. And I think one year we didn't pay for whatever Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi, whatever they offer, which is you just call them, pay the premium. Uh so we didn't have any service. And I remember feeling that Jesus, you're completely disconnect. Like you're somehow on a cell phone and you're being in the loop somehow really connects you deeply with whatever is happening. In that case, with your family or friends or whatever. And it's just like it's crazy how I felt that like, no, it's not important to disconnect. But now, as a few hours after that I'm not getting anything, I can enjoy the month. It you know, it's much better. I'm not thinking about anything, I'm just thinking about that I'm there, that I'm grateful, that I want to have a good drink. You know, I'm just kind of creating it all. Because again, I just don't take it for granted. Like, can I use it on for like an energy booster? But I'm gonna like read, you know, kind of I already try to align with that because that's what I want for my life. But I try to realign that this is the kind of life I want to have. You know what I mean? Uh this is what I expect in life. So I'm trying to read it all in instead of just thinking, oh, well, I have to go back and vacation somewhere and let's go back to reality. I don't see it like that. I don't try to do not see it, I don't even put it in words like that because I don't want to like a tin set or I don't want to say it out loud. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know, turns it to my life or whatever, like no, this is actually my new life. So I think if I keep myself in that state of mind, I'll be happy to go again, or can I reshape my life in a way that I can this is the way I live. Instead of just kind of thinking, oh well no, and now I'm gonna need another custom box to go the next year or six months, and then I'm not gonna have the money. This is not gonna happen again in two, three, four, five years.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

That's that's you leave that to me.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

That's where I live.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

That's where my brain. That's it. One day, one time. I'll see you, who knows when. I don't know when I'm gonna get the money. No, I just really don't see it. Actually, I kinda in my head bump it up, all right. What's next? You know, what can I get? How can I do it the next day?

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Better Ken's the one in line on the cruise ships that you're in line at the desk that they they give you like a discount if you sign up and pay for the next cruise while you're on the cruise.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

You're the one you're the one in that line, and I'm like, we can't afford that right now.

SPEAKER_04 32:44

No.

unknown 32:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

What are you talking about for a vacation? Let's get rid of this one.

SPEAKER_03 32:49

Yeah, and I and I was born in Colombia, a third world country where it's kind of really hard to get things, harder to get things. But it's all that's funny. You know, with the people that I used to hang out with my friends in college, we always have this kind of mindset for like for greenness, you know, business oriented, or great places, good people, help others, be nice to others. We were actually always kind of seeing the beauty of the world. Even though we're trying to do our music and hard rocks and all that kind of stuff. But we were never into drugs or anything like that, but we're just always enjoying the moment, really, really enjoying the present. And maybe that's one of the things that maybe in South America and and the Caribbean, I see it now that yeah, we do enjoy more the present. Like, you know, like we go on like an island time.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Yeah, it's my famous life for Kenos, and he's always on island.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

Maybe because I don't know you're not as attached to material things, even though you like it well loved, like a good resort, good restaurants, good food, you know, nice beaches, nice places. There's a lot of people that you they just, you know, you think, oh, there's a struggle, I don't have it. It's too too expensive. Um, they're gonna have that kind of work. And you know, you're just gonna have to trapped into your own mind, you know, so trapped in the systems like a it's like a layer of my beliefs, what society's putting on me, economy, my family. You're just like trapped into all these things that you can even freaking see in the world with a different perspective, uh, a different way. At some point we're two layers and feeling off, oh well, why am I feeling this way? Why I should I feel like I deserve less? You know, it's just to switch your mind a little bit. And things will kinda you're gonna take a new route and to kind of make things better for your life. And then it's uh island time.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

One of the things that I used to tell me all the time that I'm not used to, I I still tell you that quite frequently.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

That Ken lives on island time, and um I'm beginning more and more to realize in later years of my life that that's that that's a good thing.

unknown 35:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

So some liberation.

SPEAKER_05 35:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

There's a lot of things that drive me crazy about Ken living on island time, but we won't get into that here today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

Yeah. This was very interesting, Kim, too. Can I really talk about the present and The Power of Now? The Power of Now.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

My favorite, one of my favorite books.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

So yeah, that's a great topic, Kim, to talk about that we must live in the present.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

Yeah. And for anybody wanting to learn more about Power of Now, it is an amazing book. It will blow your mind. It really will.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

All right. So uh this is a wrap up, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

Yeah, if this resonates with anybody, if you guys have any tips and tricks that will help us live in the moment or be being present. We shared a few of ours that help us. I'd love to learn some more because I'm always struggling with it. Email us at can and kinpodcast at gmail.com. And we look forward to learning and growing with you guys. So we will see you on the next one. Take care.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah, and see you next time.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Bye-bye. Hey there. If you like this episode, please like, share, and join our community. And check out our website at Ken and Kim Podcast.com for free tools and resources. We'll talk to you next time.