The Invisible Chains Still Running Your Life (Listener Stories) EP - 25

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Lately, we've been getting a lot of listener emails. And what's interesting is that on the surface, they all seem completely different. One person struggles to trust themselves. Another feels trapped by a label they were given as a child. Another feels like they become a different person every time they go home to visit family. Different stories, different ages, different situations. But underneath all three of these emails, we notice the exact same pattern. And that's what we're talking about today. Because sometimes the things keeping you stuck isn't fear. Sometimes it's a belief you've been carrying around for so long that you don't even realize it's there anymore. Welcome back to the Ken and Kim Podcast, where we have real conversations about rebuilding your life. And as we're reading through them, we started noticing a common thread. Not fear, not confidence, not motivation, but something actually much deeper.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Yes, the interesting thing is that none of these listeners are asking the same question, but they may have actually been dealing with the same problems.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

So the emails that we're gonna talk about today all relate back to a framework that we've discussed before, which we will recap here at the end. All right, so I'm just gonna jump right in with the first email and comes from Melissa in Ohio. Hey, Ken and Kim, I'm 43 and I feel a little embarrassed even writing this because I know I'm supposed to be a grown adult by now. Lately, I've noticed that every time I want to make a decision, I immediately start asking everyone else what they think. My husband, my sister, my friends, coworkers, sometimes even people I barely know. It can be something small like signing up for a class or something bigger like changing jobs. The weird thing is that most of the time I already know what I want to do, but for some reason I don't trust myself enough to just make the decision and move forward. If one person disagrees with me, I start second guessing everything. Then I end up stuck, going back and forth in my head for weeks. I don't know if I'm looking for advice anymore or if I'm looking for permission. Has anyone ever gotten so used to relying on other people's opinions that they forget how to trust their own? Sign Melissa from Ohio. This one resonated for me, Ken, because I can relate to this very deeply.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

And I think a lot of people do this without even realizing that they're doing it. Because she already knows what she wants. She's not confused and she's like not lacking information. She already knows, but she's just looking for reassurance.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Right. And if one person disagrees with her, the entire thing falls apart. That tells me that the issue isn't the decision, is her trusting herself.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Exactly. And I I can totally relate to this because I struggle with this before. I think we've talked a little bit about it on previous episodes where I I said that like I'm always asking permission, yeah. Like spending money.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Yeah, you need the green light.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

I need the green light. And I, you know, it I think for me it does come stem from uh something where like I I don't trust myself with money or like because I've always lived in like this state of lack that um I you were conditioned.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

So we talked about this in the past. You said that you're we're conditioned, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

And you felt like, oh no, wait, if I want to spend a hundred bucks, I gotta kinda let's talk. We can is revisit my my finances.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

If I want to go get a pedicure, like I have to ask, not that I'm asking your permission because I know you're not gonna say no. Yeah, but like I have to get the validation from you that it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Like I'll be like, oh, so I really want to go get a pedicure, which by the way, I would really love to get a pedicure before we go to Connecticut next week. Yeah. But I just like I need to like voice it, like I need to tell you. And it's with anything, like, oh, our daughter needs shorts and I'm gonna order them. I've tried over the years to get better with that because I I I hear myself doing it. And it's like a matter of just not trusting myself to make the decision.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah. And I think that's like you feel like your brain is gonna default, and that's what probably Melissa thinks too, like, oh, what a bad decision.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

I think somewhere along the way she learned that other people's opinions were more important than her own. Maybe she got criticized, or maybe she was making bad choices, or maybe she got used to letting stronger personalities make decisions for her.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Yeah, she says in the email, if one person disagrees with me, I start second guessing everything.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

That I end up stuck going back and forth in my head for weeks.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Yeah. I totally can relate to that. I I mean, hers isn't based on money, mine personally is, but like I'm just giving my personal experience where like if I, you know, in the past, when I was younger, if I wanted to make a bigger purchase, whatever it was, I would like seek other opinions like from my mom or my dad. And then yeah. And then they'd be like, oof, I don't know. That's that's like a lot of money. Maybe you really shouldn't be doing that right now, this or that. And then I'm like second guessing the whole thing, and then I talk myself out of it because maybe they're right. And yeah, you know, and it's just like I'm losing the trust I had within myself.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's weird because people don't give permission to others just like that. People have to bring their negative.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Well, they bring their own experiences in their own labs in their own lab it on you and their own problems into a situation. Like if you're gonna be asking somebody something like that, it's like, make sure you're asking the right person, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

That's what I tell my son all the time is that if you're asking somebody about like investing advice, take into consideration who you're asking. Yeah. If you're asking somebody who has a family to provide for and on they're on a shoestring budget and but they're just barely making ends meet, well, their investing advice is gonna be a lot different from the single guy who has no no kids, no family. Yeah. The two pieces of advice that you're getting from those people are gonna be very different.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Right. I think that maybe she got criticized at some point. Maybe she got told she was making bad choices. Maybe she got used to letting stronger personalities take decisions for her. And after enough years of doing that, you stop asking yourself what you want. You start asking everybody else. The question I would ask Melissa is when was the last time you trusted yourself and things actually worked out? Because I guarantee that there are examples. She's just overlooking them.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

What's interesting is that Melissa probably doesn't even realize that she's doing this anymore. It becomes automatic. And that's what makes these kinds of patterns so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

All right, and email number two. This comes from Brandon in North Carolina. Hey Ken and Kim, I've been listening to the podcast for a few months and something has been bothering me lately. Growing up, my older brother was always the smart one in the family. He got straight A's, won awards, and seemed to be good at everything. I wasn't a bad student, but compared to him, I was always the average one. Nobody was intentionally mean about it, but after hearing things like, your brother is the academic one, for years I think I started believing it. Now I'm 37 years old with a decent career, a family, and a life I'm grateful for. But whenever an opportunity comes up, I still catch myself assuming I'm not qualified enough. At work, I'll talk myself out of applying for promotions. If someone asks me to lead something, my first thought is usually that someone else would probably do it better. Part of me knows this sounds ridiculous because I'm not a kid anymore, but another part of me still feels like I'm trying to live up to the role that was assigned to me years ago. How do you know if you're seeing yourself clearly or if you're still carrying around an old story about who you are? Sign Brandon from North Carolina.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Well, this one is powerful because he's 37 years old. He's got a career, he's got a family, but he's still seeing himself through the eyes of a child.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Yeah, and I think that a lot of people do this, right? This one's easy to fall into.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

We all sabotage ourselves at some point. We just feel like, oh, well, no, maybe I'm not qualified, like he just said, and then it goes back to his roots. Right, the beliefs. Listening, hearing all that from his family, and then like, oh no, I guess I gotta stay in my lane.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Yeah, it's the stories that we grow up with that we continue to tell ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

The families that assign these labels, and sometimes it's intentionally, but I think most of the time it's unintentional.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

You know, they they label the kids like, oh, that's that's my smart kid, or that's my athletic kid, that's my artist kid, that's my artistic kid, musical kid. We get assigned these labels and then we kind of get stuck with them.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

That's why I try to be really careful about what I say in front of our kids about them, even though if like we recognize something in them, good or it doesn't matter if it's good or bad. It's just something that we recognize within them. I try to be careful to not say it too much in front of them because I don't want them to be saddled with that label for the rest of their life because it might not be a label that they want.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

You know?

SPEAKER_00 9:17

And as you can see, he was able to go back to his childhood when he wrote the email. Like my parents were telling me I'm not the academic one.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Well, that's not that they weren't telling him that, but they were acknowledging the other brother for being academic. So it made him feel less than this.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Like, yeah, like we're you could be capable, but like But he's really got it.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

This other guy over here, he's good.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

So in and that says a lot because you can tell how much the family impact you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

But that's what I mean about it's unintentional. Like they didn't in they weren't intentionally being like, oh, you're a dummy.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

You know. But unintentionally, they were giving him this like he was inferior or he was less than his brother academically because they put so much emphasis on the older brother.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

That's right. And eventually you stop questioning the label, you become the label. And then you're later opportunity shows up, and you're still making decisions from a story that may not even be true anymore. So the question isn't whether Brandon is smart enough. The question is whether he's willing to stop believing a story that was created decades ago.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah, and that's hard. Because those stories feel true when you've carried them for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. Right. They're just ingrained in your being at this point, and they just come naturally.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

It becomes an automatic response, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

That's right. So so far we got Melissa was looking for permission. Brandon is living inside a label.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Different situations, but something feels familiar here. Uh, we're gonna talk more about it after the third email.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Email number three. Why do I become a different person around my family? Hey Ken and Kim. Over the last couple of years I've been working really hard on myself. I've lost weight, started setting boundaries, and become a lot more confident than I used to be. The problem is that every time I go back home to visit my family, it's like all of that disappears. I become quieter, I stop speaking up, I start worrying about what everyone thinks. Sometimes I leave those visits feeling like I'm 17 years old again instead of 41. The strange thing is that nobody is necessarily doing anything wrong. My family loves me and they're good people. But somehow when I'm around them, I slip right back into old habits and old insecurities that I thought I'd already worked through. Then I come home frustrated because I feel like I took 10 steps backwards. Is it normal to feel like you've changed, but certain people or places can pull you right back into the old version of yourself you're trying to outgrow? Signed Jennifer from Texas.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Well, wow, it sounds like he's having a lot of fun uh Thanksgiving visits.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Well, I mean, I think this is a common for a lot of people because a lot of people almost dread going home to see family for holidays and stuff because it is hard. You get pulled back into this old this old way of life that you've outgrown.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Yeah, so yeah, you that's right. I think most of Americans leave home between 18 and 21 years old, right? They get out of their homes, but there was like an identity that they left behind, right? So let's say you went from Texas, or maybe she was living somewhere else. Yeah. And she moved to Texas. Five years after, she had to go back.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Five years after she developed a new personality, now she's more mature, right? And maybe even her financials are different, could be better, could be worse, right? And all those little things impact you when you get back home, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

And I feel this happened to a lot of people in a different way. Yeah. Like you sometimes you go visit friends, like you go visit old friends, and you're like, oh what happened?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Yeah. He's outgrown them, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Yeah. Or or maybe in a they're in a different vibe. You know, it seems for some reason like, oh, they're not the same, you know, or and or maybe they're just your family criticize so much that you forget about it.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

And then you're you're back home and you're like, what the heck is going on?

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Yeah, because there's no wonder I left. Well, yeah, and they're still seeing you as the person that you were when you left, right? And she says that her family's very loving and she doesn't think that they're doing it intentionally. Other people are not that lucky, like they get stuck with families that will intentionally make comments. Make comments or be negative or you know, whatever. Um, so she's lucky to have it sounds like a supportive family. But this one I I picked this one because I it did resonate for me as well with all the personal growth that you and I do. We really study it and work at it and work really hard at it.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

And so when we go back and visit family, they are. I find myself slipping into old patterns. I don't like that version of myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

And I get around my old friends and my you know, family, and I just like it's just that you want to bring your authentic self that you used to be. And I'm not saying that you're like it's not authentic who you are right now. It's just again that the time passes by. You know, you're older, you have kids, you know now new places, yeah, right? New different people. So many things that changed your perception of the world, right? And when you go back, like, oh wait a minute, I used to be silly, I used to be loud, I used to because I used to be, I used to joke all the time. And when I'm with my friends, I haven't hang out with my friends for so long, but I was always I gotta joke for everything. They expect that.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

You've told me, you've always told me since like the day we met. You were like, because you know, when you moved here, your English wasn't as good as it is now, but you would be like, Oh, you should if you should hear me in Spanish. Like, I'm really funny, and I'm like, uh-huh, I'm waiting to hear that. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

It's funny because yeah, I always had a joke before everything.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

So And you still do, and they're like dad jokes and they're annoying, and everyone pulls their eyes at you.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yeah. So, anyways, uh, so we do, we all change. So I think a lot of people are going to relate to this one because personal growth isn't always linear.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

No, sometimes you can spend years growing and changing, and and everybody's actually on their own timeline, right? We don't all grow at the same time. Yeah. So that makes it challenging as well.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

And then one family gathering makes you feel like you're back in high school.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah. Yeah. It is possible, right? Again, the classes are hanging out together, they're making the old stupid jokes, and you're like, hey, those jokes are stupid. I don't find them funny anymore.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

You know?

SPEAKER_01 16:14

It's kind of like the dad jokes. Those are stupid and I don't find them funny.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I was talking about when I was younger that I have, you know, the naughty jokes and stupid, and I don't know. Now I have a dad jokes because I have a daughter, so.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

I have to tone it down.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Mm-hmm. Well, you still make the stupid 12-year-old perverted little boy jokes.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Yeah, but sometimes those environments, those environments hold old versions of us.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah, and it doesn't mean that like your family's intentionally doing something wrong to you, right? It's like the environments that you're going back to, they hold old versions of ourselves. The roles, the expectations, the dynamics that you have with your family and friends, you know, and you just get back around it and you're like, oh yeah, like I know when I go home, I get, I get like a little more negative and I get like a little more because my family like expects me to be a certain way, you know? And that's how I've always related to them. So then when I get there, I yes and no. Like I can see in some ways how I falter back to my old identities or identity. But also I can feel my growth, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm not even engaging with that, you know?

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

This actually reminds me of a movie with uh Ryan Reynolds that he was in his hometown. He had a best friend, and then he moved to LA, but he was chubby. Do you remember the movie? Best friends. Something like that. He came back, he's like a I don't know what he's at in LA, but he's kind of got money and he looks all nice and sharp. And then when he comes back, back to who you know, who he used to be, that little chubby dude insecure, you know. Even though he wasn't chubby, you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

No, it was super hot. Yeah. Oh, just friends, it's called.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

I was looking at just looking at him. No silly.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

With uh what's her name? Uh is it Amy Smart?

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know her name.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yeah, with Amy Smart and Anna Ferris and Chris Klein. I had that on DVD. I must have watched it a million times.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, and then he's just like he can pull it off.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yeah, he falls back into his immature ways, but when he's in I forgot about that. That's a great example, actually. Then when he goes back to his new fancy life where he's thin, he works out, he plays hockey, he's really good at skating and all these things, he's got all this money. And then he goes back and he gets stuck in his hometown because he gets somewhere in New Jersey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

And the waitress calls him a chubby bunny. And he's like, I'm not chubby.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

That's a good movie. The point is though, Jennifer isn't becoming her old self. She's reconnecting with an old identity that she hasn't fully released yet.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

That's right. That's absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

And that's why it feels so frustrating because intellectually she knows that she's changed, but emotionally she's like being pulled back into this familiar role. Right. And it's so easy to slip back into these familiar roles because the it's familiar and it doesn't take work, you know, to be in those familiar roles.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

It takes work to be the better version of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

And it can be uncomfortable. And so that's why it's so easy to slip back.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Yeah, and the more familiar something is, the more powerful it can feel. So, and as we're reading these emails, something jumped out. Melissa thinks she needs permission. Brandon thinks he's still the kid who wasn't smart enough. Jennifer feels trapped inside an older version of herself. Different stories, same patterns. And it reminded us of a framework we've talked about before.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

So, just as a recap of a story that we discussed on another episode, the elephant chain story. So this is a story that we discussed in an earlier episode. We were talking about Kevin Trudeau's book, Your Wish is Your Command. And he was talking about a story that he experienced when he was at a circus, and he asked the trainer about how they train the elephants, how they condition the elephants in their circus. And basically, the guy tells him when the elephants are babies, they tie them to a heavy stake in the ground with a chain. And the baby elephants, they pull, they fight, they struggle, but they're too small to break free. So eventually they stop trying after weeks or even months, they stop trying eventually. And years later, the elephant is strong enough to rip the stake out of the ground instantly, but it doesn't, not because it can't, because it believes it can't. The chain isn't holding the elephant anymore. It's the belief. So the elephant was conditioned to believe that it can't pull that stake out of the ground because of the conditioning it experienced when it was a baby.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

So after we discussed that story, we came up with a framework. So we lovingly refer to it as the elephant chain framework.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

So step one of the framework is to identify the chain. What belief are you still carrying? So Melissa's belief from the first email is I need permission. Brandon's belief, I'm not the smart one. Jennifer's belief, I'm still that old version of myself.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

And step two, ask where it came from. Who taught you that? What experience created it? When did you first start believing it? Most chains are much older than people realize. Step three, test the belief today. Is it actually true today?

SPEAKER_00 21:58

That's right. Think about it. You were conditioned at some point and it's showing up right now after you wrote that email, you pause for a second, or you've been hearing our episodes, and you decided to put an email together for us and you realized it right there. I've been conditioned. I have been conditioned. So is it the belief actually true today?

SPEAKER_01 22:22

You need to ask yourself, you need to test it and ask yourself, is that actually true today? Step four, gather new evidence. Find proof that contradicts the belief. Melissa has made good decisions before. Brandon has succeeded repeatedly.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

And Jennifer has already changed. The evidence already exists, they're just overlooking it. Step five, pull against the chain. You don't break the chains by thinking, you break them by testing them. Melissa makes one decision without asking anyone. Brandon can apply for the promotion.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Easy.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Yeah. Jennifer keeps showing up as her new self. Action creates the new evidence.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

That's right. You need to get out of that funk.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

So you just have to do it. You acknowledge that, which is very, very powerful. Because you actually are gaining your power back once you acknowledge the issue. Right. And now you're gonna act from that point moving forward. Like you just said for step number five. Pull against the chain, right? It's time to break it.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Yeah, this is where people get stuck and confused, like to pull against the chain. And it that's why it's saying you just you break them by testing. You don't have to have this big aha moment or whatever. Like you just have to start testing it. And Melissa and in in these cases of Melissa, Brandon, and Jennifer, they've already tested them in different ways. They're just not acknowledging the success that they've had by testing them.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

They're just falling back into that belief. So if they take a step, and in Melissa's case, for example, Melissa makes one decision without asking anyone. Like that's like a repeatable event that she can she can keep repeating it, keep testing it. And then every time she does it and she gets a little success, you know, the decisions that she can continue testing that with will get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until someday she can look back and be like, I've made all these other decisions. I've outgrown that belief now.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

It's like a compound effect.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Compound effect, exactly. Yeah. And in Brandon's case, apply for that promotion or apply for a new job or whatever it may be. And it's just those small, consistent actions that he has to continue to do in order to instill the new belief within him.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

And break that chain. Exactly. What's the worst that could happen?

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

You didn't get the position, so what? Move on.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Try again.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

You're fine.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

That's not even going to label you.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

It's when you paralyzed, when you're just kind of thinking that should I do it or should I just stay here in the same position? If you want to bite enough, just do it and let go.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Don't worry about if I'm not qualified. If I'm not, there's more candidates for the position, they're more qualified than me. Don't even think about that. Just do it. You're showing up. If you have the if you're thinking that you could potentially apply, just do it.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

And that's it and move on. Yeah. And embrace embrace the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Yep. And it sounds like in each of these cases, Ken, in each of these emails that we pulled, the three of them have actually already identified the chain. Because the way that they're asking the questions, they already know what the problem is. In Melissa's case, she says, has anyone ever gotten so used to relying on other people's opinions that they've forgotten how to trust their own? She's already realizing that she's relying on old conditioning.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Same with Brandon. How do you know if you're seeing yourself clearly or if you're still carrying around an old story about who you are? Well, you you've answered your own question just by asking the question, right? You already see that the conditioning you got as a child is reflective of how you're living your life today.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Yeah. So you're ready to break the chain.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Right. And same with Jennifer from Texas. She says, is it normal to feel like you've changed, but certain people or places can pull you right back into the version of yourself you're trying to outgrow. I mean, just by again, just by asking that question, you can see that you have outgrown that old version of yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

And we just said a minute ago, after a few years, you're not the same person anymore. Right. Your feelings, the way you see the world, your finances, everything around you.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Right?

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yep. So it's the actions that are creating this new evidence and the compound effect, like you said.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

So for other listeners who are feeling a little stuck and they haven't identified the chain, you can start by asking yourself, what belief about yourself have you never questioned? Where did that belief come from? Would you choose that belief today if someone handed it to you? What opportunities are you avoiding because of that story? And what would one small act of pulling against a chain look like this week? The biggest lessons from today's emails is that not all chains look like chains. Some look like caution, some look like responsibility, some look like personality traits, some look like that's just who I am. But if you never question them, they quietly shape your entire life.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

That's right. And maybe the question isn't, what am I afraid of? Maybe the better question is, what old belief am I still obeying? Because sometimes the thing keeping you stuck isn't a lack of ability. It's a story you've outgrown.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Maybe it's time to pull against the chain one more time.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

That's right. We'll see you the next time.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Take care. If this episode resonated with you or helped you in any way, we'd love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're ready to go deeper, we created something for you. Head over to Ken and Kimp Podcast.com where you can get access to our full library of rebuild guides. These are step-by-step tools designed to help you actually apply what we talk about here. And if you want to connect with us, join our private Facebook community, the Rebuild Room, where we're having real conversations about rebuilding your life. We'll see you in the next episode.