How to Figure Out What You Actually Want in Life (When You Feel Stuck) - Episode 8

0:00 Do you ever wonder why people spend years chasing a life that looks right, or possibly that they inherited, but still feels completely wrong? Oh, yes. I know we that happened to both of us. Yep. As you know, when I was like 18, I started working for my parents' business. I was kind of pigeonholed into this role of doing what my mom did. She was kind of training me for it. Okay. Certain aspects of it, anyways. She was like doing all the accounts payable, accounts receivable, the bookkeeping basically. Yeah. And as the business grew, she was kind of pushing more of that off onto me.

0:44 Yeah. And then I took on the role of doing payroll and human resources and all that jazz. I was young and I didn't I was making decent money. And I was being trained in a skill. Yeah. But I hated it. Well, you didn't know. Like, okay, what the heck am I doing? No, I had no idea what to do, but I know that I hated it. I was freaking miserable. Well, uh, 18 is hard. Like, you don't know what you want in life. Right. You're actually, like you say, you were just getting trained in something that you were like, okay, is this what I'm gonna do? Yeah. For the rest of my life. Like, you don't know. I mean, it was a step up at the time because when I was six, you know, I got my first job at 16 um in Connecticut.

1:29 That's the basically when you're able to start working, or was back then. I don't know what it is now. Yeah. But I started at working at our local grocery store, Big Y. And I was a cashier, and that was by far the worst job ever for me, just standing on my feet all day and my back. I have my lower back, I have lower back issues, and that just was not good for me. Yeah. And and the uh customer service that you love. I was I was an excellent cashier, but I I know I've told you in the past that I always got in trouble because I had a bitchy attitude because lovely. I was miserable. I was miserable. First of all, I was really depressed, yeah, highly suicidal for everything else that was going on in my life.

2:16 Not because I was a cashier, just because that's what I suffered with. But you didn't want to help anyone. You're just like I was really good at what I did, and I you know, all my managers loved me because I was really good at it, but they were always like, Come on, Kim, like we we you have to do better. Right. You have to you get you get complained about because you're just not being pleasant or whatever. And I was a bratty teenager, I didn't care. Yeah, you were rude. Yeah. Yeah, I bet. But anyways, so when I got the job with my mom, it was like a step up for me, you know. Now I could work Monday through Friday and I knew my hours.

2:57 Before it was like I had all these random hours on the weekends and this and that, and so and of course it was, you know, minimum wage, a little bit better, maybe 20 cents more than minimum wage. Yeah. So I was making good money and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but I know I needed to do something. So then I start working for her, whatever. And But how did you feel? Let's go back there for a minute. So you're working with your mom. I know you said that you were miserable, but you had you saw like an opportunity. Okay, my mom is teaching me. I guess let's see how this this thing is gonna go. But back then, did you think about okay, is this gonna be my life from now on, or well, maybe a little bit, but I I was happy to be learning a skill.

3:46 I knew that I needed a skill to maintain and make decent money. Yeah. However, I was so miserable, I was like, this I can't, I can't do this. So I was like, my family, you know, we didn't really go to nobody really went to college in my immediate family, anyways. My dad got like his associates or something like that. But nobody had their bachelor's. We were never, my brother and I were never encouraged to go to college because it just they my parents were like, take it or leave it. They didn't care. They we didn't like go tour colleges and oh, or what are you applying for? And let's get, you know, your your school resume looking good here.

4:27 Like it wasn't that wasn't ever none of that instilled in us. Nothing like that was never even brought up. Yeah. Well, your mom wanted to be like an entrepreneur and Yeah. And so I did catch that bug from her, the entrepreneur bug, at a very young age. But then I kind of fell back in and I was like, well, I always felt in my heart that I wanted to help people, like in some capacity. But I had no idea how, I had very little guidance on the subject. So I started looking at because I had all these mental health issues, that intrigued me. But of course, I didn't know how to beat them at that time or work through them at that time.

5:11 Yeah. But anyway, so the the mental health stuff really intrigued me. And I thought, well, if I'm struggling with this, I would really love to help other people and that kind of thing. So I did start looking at colleges and I thought, well, maybe I could be like a psychologist or a psychiatrist or something in the mental health field. Yeah. But so I decided, okay, well, I'll go to school, just start with my bachelor's and then kind of take it from there, see where that leads me. So I start doing that, and I'm I started taking all these psychology classes and I loved them and everything else. But as I was going through that, of course, then you know, I didn't go to college right out of high school, so I was a little bit older when I started.

5:53 So I didn't have your typical college experience, if you will. I drove there. I didn't live on campus, I didn't have friends on campus, I didn't, you know, party with the college students. I was older and I was already like living on my own and stuff like that. So I started, yeah, around 20. And then I had a boyfriend at the time. And then I think we were I I guess I don't I don't remember. It's a long time ago, but I I think like I was going part-time and I really wanted to speed things up. So I started doing like this fast track program, but that didn't include psychology. They didn't have that at that time.

6:35 You know, this was back when this is like early 2000s, so they didn't have everything online like they do now. They they were just starting to have courses online, actually. Yeah. Long story short. So they didn't offer all the psychology courses like at night and you know, on this fast track program, and I was trying to get through it as quickly as possible. So what they did offer was a public administration. Okay. And it kind of, you know, had nuances of psychology in there. So I just started doing that. Because you didn't know back then. You just I didn't I still didn't know what I wanted to do exactly, and I didn't know and I knew that I wanted to make a lot of money to fulfill my dreams.

7:18 And I thought, well, if I become like a psychologist, I felt at the time that it was very limiting to what my income potential could be. So I wasn't I was not settled on that. Yeah. So I decided to just get it done because I had already started been doing it for a couple of years, and I was just like, I'll just get it done. And so that's when I switched into public administration and got through the degree. So I had my bachelor's. Meanwhile, you know, I was still working full-time for my mom, building my skills at in HR and payroll and you know, slightly in bookkeeping.

8:00 I won't say I won't claim to be a bookkeeper because I am not. Okay. I'm not a good one, anyways. Right. I can do a lot of the things, but so, anyways, long story short, they sell the business as you know. And then I uh by that time was married and had my son, and when he was like around two years old, I got back in back into getting a career going. Yeah. And so now I have this bachelor's degree, and I have at that point almost 10 years experience in bookkeeping and human resources. Yeah. So that's how I kind of got pigeonholed and kind of inherited that career.

8:42 And so you were kind of building as you go. Correct, yeah. But again, that wasn't actually fulfilling what you wanted to do. And that happens to a lot of people. So many people. So many people out there that trying to figure it out, okay, what the heck am I doing with my life? Right. And there are so many programs now that you could do online, you know, not like back then. Right. It was very different. You know, but still even doing it online, you don't know what to do. Right. And now also right now there is a belief that you don't need a degree to make money. Right. Right. So now it's a little changed a lot, but now it's you're confused now from a different perspective.

9:23 You know, before, like, all right, I need to get a degree, right? To make money. Yeah. And now, yeah, you can still make money with a degree, but you have to go through, you know, get a loan. Yeah. And there's tons of uh videos out there and and and topics about what a bad investment it is to get a loan, to go to school. You know, everyone knows that. Yes, well, I still have I still have student loans to this day, and I'm 45 years old and I'm still paying them off. Yeah, and you're not even using utilizing my degree. So it was I mean, I won't say it was a waste because after No, it's it's not. It's not, you know, you went to school, you're gonna Well, after, you know, when I after I had my son and started getting back into the working world, I had this degree and I had all this experience, so I was able to get a good paying job, which sustained us for 10 years while I was there until they went out of business.

10:17 Right. I made really good money. And but again, the money we always think money, money, money, money like that. But I was miserable. Like our boy, he's thinking about money right now. Right. He's about to be 20. It's just all about the money. Yes, it's all about the money in the world. Yeah. You know, we need the money for to, you know, to get the things that we need to get, and you know. Right. Anyway, so but for me, I'm from Columbia. I was going to college for engineering, uh, mechatronics, and I moved in 2009 to finish my degree in engineering. And I started working in a company in Connecticut where my family used to work, uh, manufacturing. We used to make medical devices.

10:58 And I remember when I started working, I was working with um the seniors, and they were kind of you know, training me. They were all thinking about to retire. And um, here I am, 25. And I was like, what the heck am I doing? Like, is this I don't want this for my life. Yeah. You know, like, is this what is supposed to be an engineer? Right. They were just teaching me and how to operate some equipment and machines and machinery, and I was just like, this, this is, I'm not gonna go to school for this. You know, and I was into music uh back then.

11:40 That was my passion. I was just like, I don't want to be a musician. But there I was in a manufacturing company being all you know completely confused about like what the heck am I gonna do. Well, you were pushed into that, yeah. I was as well. Yeah, so my dad is a lawyer uh in Colombia, and then of course, and all my uncles uh they have their their degrees in Colombia, and of course, one of the things was to hey, you need to get a degree, you know. So they pushed to for me to be or a doctor or a lawyer, and I decided to go engineering. But then again, that wasn't really what the heck am I doing?

12:22 I didn't know what to do. Yeah, you know, it was really hard to kind of actually find a path, you know, of that you love. Like, all right, so I'm gonna do this. This is gonna be my life now. Yeah, you know, it's so hard to really put together and people struggle, you know. People struggle to how how can I overcome this like this doubt about to okay, what career should I choose? What you know path should I take? Yeah, it's just so confusing. Well, more so for you, which I think a lot of people go through as well. Like in my case, it my parents didn't care if I went to college, but in your case, your dad was adamant that you go to college.

13:03 It wasn't an option. Yeah, it wasn't an option. And it was it was like you said, lawyer, doctor, engineering in Columbia. That's what you went for. Those were your options, and you had to pick one and you had to go do it. Yeah. In my in my And if you if you didn't, you were a big buck up. Yeah, and my brother is a doctor, you know. So he was like, he's a doctor, so you gotta he was going, you know, to get his degree back then. He's a doctor now, but I I was like, hey, you need to get it done. You know? But yeah, it's very, very hard to kinda find the path that you want to do for your life. Right. And I think, you know, like I said, a lot of people go through the same thing. Their parents are imposing careers on them or they want better for their children.

13:48 So they impose like, well, I had to work in this blue-collar job all my life. I want better for my kids, so they're gonna go to school and they're gonna be a doctor, or they're gonna be a lawyer, and then the kid takes on that guilt and is like, Well, my family worked so hard just to get me into medical school, or they worked so hard to get me into whatever career path it is, and so now I have to make them happy and I have to do this. And and it's like, wait a minute, what about you? And what makes you happy? You know, so you and I both had kind of different extremes about it, whereas like I wasn't really given any guidance about how to make something happen.

14:30 I was just like willy-nilly picking out of thin air and really didn't have any guidance, and you were kind of forced into something. So and I was like, no, I don't I don't know, like you you you just have to do it. Like you just don't know if that's what you actually want. It's just like uh basically your family are programming you to be something, someone. Right. You don't even know if you want to be that person. Right. You know, it's like there's no choice, you gotta go, you gotta do it. Yes. And then you're like, wait a minute, now it's like, wait a minute, what about me? What about the things that resonate with my heart? Right. What about the things that I actually want to do that are actually aligns with the things I actually want?

15:12 But but the thing is, Kim, that people don't know what they want. Right? Like what do you want when you're like exactly 21, 22? You're still trying to figure it out. Right. You know? Yeah, and that's why I thought that we could share some of our story and maybe that could help people figure out how they can decide what they want to do with their lives. Yeah, because we had now decided a little a little late. Very late. Very late. Well, yes and no. I feel like we've been working towards our goals this whole time since we've been together, but we've never known how. Yeah, I think we sort of we figured it out, maybe what we wanted to do maybe came after our 30th.

15:54 Maybe I would say that maybe like 10 years ago. Yeah. Right? We were kind of putting it together. Okay. What do we want to do? Because I remember back then It was entrepreneurship was our our big thing. Was like we wanted to have a business, but we had no idea what business because we didn't even know how to feel fulfilled or happy. And we were grasping at straws just to pay the bills and hopefully be eventually able to get the time freedom that we wanted. Yeah. So we were kind of building it slowly. We didn't know it's exactly what it was. Right. And w that's when we started with the restaurants. That's when we started with the restaurants.

16:35 So we knew that we wanted to start something, and again, for those that are listening listening out there, you have to make a little list. And I I we didn't do it. We didn't make a list back then. And again, make even if the list doesn't make any sense, I think that could be a good a good uh starting point to write up the things that you may think you like or you want, but those things need to align with you. And for us back then, for so many conversations that we had, I remember going out to eat dinner, driving. We were always talking about how to start our own business. Yeah. So we knew that back then. Again, we didn't write it down, but we knew that, but we didn't know what kind of business.

17:18 Right. And then we kinda that's when we started. That's how we ended up in the wrong business. We had the opportunity to buy these uh restaurants in Connecticut and there was a complete chaos. That was uh fiasco. Well, it was a it was a learning experience, it was an education, yeah. An expensive education and which was fine because you know, we learned what we don't like. So and it was an expensive way to do it, but nonetheless it was a learning experience. Yeah, a learning experience, definitely. And then we thought, all right, so what about online businesses? Right. Well, that's when we were started getting a little b bit more clear about what we wanted out of life.

18:02 That's when we started defining, okay, well, now we have these restaurants and we hate being tied to these locations. Yeah, managing employees, yeah, the rent. Yeah, we couldn't go anywhere because we always had to be babysitting employees. And that was pretty much a miserable experience. But then we started deciding like, okay, well, e-commerce, like we wouldn't have to be tied to any specific location. We could live wherever in the world and and do our business, and that's really what we wanted. And we also wanted time freedom. So the first takeaway, if I would have done this again, I will make a list.

18:46 Yes. I don't think it's only what you like, it's more like what resonates with you. And then when we started doing e-commerce, we started with drop shipping. Yeah. And I remember that we didn't like the drop shipping model either. Yeah, because it didn't again, it didn't align with us because of the customer service that went along with it, and we had zero control over when customers were getting their products. Yeah. Because if you don't know drop shipping, like you somebody places an order from your store and you place the order with a vendor and they ship it. Most of the time it comes from somewhere like China. So it takes like probably a month to get to the customer.

19:27 Yeah. And you have very little control over that. Yeah, once when it ships, you're like, okay, I don't know. The the consumer doesn't know what's going on behind the scenes. Right. So that didn't align with us because we we cared about customers and we want them to have a good experience and we want to have a good solid business. So we got out of that pretty quickly. And then we moved to Amazon FBA, that was before COVID. We were doing Amazon heavily, and then at some point we thought, okay, let's open a warehouse in Phoenix. Yeah. And then we're looking at places. Uh we were actually when we were doing uh Amazon FBA, we were building pallets with products from our house.

20:11 Yeah. An 18 wheeler will show up weekly or so to pick up these pallets. We were embarrassed with our neighbors, but like we'll ship one to two, one to three pallets from our house, from our garage. We were just grinding. I was just working, and then at night I was just basically packing, creating the products and all this kind of you know, products to sell on Amazon, FBA. And then at some point we thought, all right, let's get a warehouse. Yeah. And then we were so close to get a warehouse, and then again we like, okay, let's wait on the back up. Now we're gonna need employees, right? Rent again, getting back into the same state. If the employees don't show up, we have to break our backs.

20:54 Now we have to do the packaging and palletizing and all that, you know. And then we were like, okay, no, we don't want that. Right. And then we backed off. Yeah. Then we had to get clear again. We had to we had to really figure stuff out because we did not want to go down that road again. And then then again, that tied us to another location again as well. Like, okay, now we're stuck in the area that we live in and we can't go travel a month out of the year or whatever. We still can't do that, but we want to be able to do that. Yeah, we we modify the business, the FBA, the Amazon FBA. We're still we're still doing it, we're still doing uh uh different products, doesn't require pallets. It could require pallets, but we're not doing pallets.

21:36 But we modify the business, but again, we're tied up. We're still working the business. We're still working, yeah. So uh but from our own house and it's just you and I. So but we have it in a position where when we grow it enough, we can outsource it to like a third party that would ship on our behalf and all that. But we're we're not there yet because as you know, Ken just lost his job. So We're trying to take on as much of the work as we can ourselves so we can save on costs and whatnot. But um that also keeps us small and it keeps us not growing. Yeah. Again, we're just kind of tweaking and tweaking and tweaking. Yep. To kind of find the spot that we want to be.

22:16 Yeah. And but more so, that's not even our end game, anyways. I think our our end game is I want I as I said, like my goal has always been to I want to help people in some level and some capacity. And you do as well. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, those the final goal is not only about making money. We talked about this in the past. The final goal is just to help people. That's what what actually resonates with us. You know, in the beginning we were younger, okay, you want to make money, but in the back of our heads, like you said, when you that you wanted to get your uh psychology degree. Your psychology degree always was about to helping people. Right. You know, and we talked about that, about to have we can build an organization where we can help people.

23:00 One of my dreams now, you know, is just to be a philanthropist, to help all these people out you know, out there, kids, family that are struggling. I don't know, I have so many things that I want to do. Right, you know, and that gets me excited. Yeah, that gets me excited. Like now I feel like, okay, this is my purpose. I finally found it. You know, as I go, I'm still kind of putting the pieces together to how can I accomplish that. But now I feel fully aligned. And again, it was just kind of tuning a guitar, you know. So for those out there that are still thinking, okay, I hate my job, I hate my career path, I hate what I'm doing.

23:42 But it's like I'm I feel like I'm just basically advising myself if I was younger. Hey, write a list, start from there. Yeah. A small list, and then pick, you know, maybe 20 ideas, yeah, and then pick one of those and then start from there. And then can you start tuning in as you go? And then also, in addition to your list, you should really think about how you want your daily life to look like. Oh, yeah, that's very important. It that was huge for us. We really needed to define what we wanted our day to look like. So for us, it was like we wanted to get up and take our daughter to school, and we wanted to come home, work out together, eat breakfast together, shower, then start our day working from our home office.

24:28 And right now, that is what our life looks like. Yeah. But that didn't come quickly or easily for us. We've worked really hard to get here, and still we have this big unknown because you know, Ken lost his job. Slowly and gradually it started taking shape. It started taking form. First, it was me because I back in 2019, well, like a year after we moved here, I was working remotely from Connecticut um in Arizona. The company I was working for remotely went out of business, and that's when COVID kind of hit and all these things were going on. And so I was able to stay at home and work from home on our Amazon business while you were working.

25:14 Yeah. But, you know, the goal was okay, how do we get both of us out of our jobs? How can we do that? And so the funny thing is about you losing your job is that I keep saying, like, we would never have taken that step, and unless we were making, you know, Fuco bucks every month. We would never have taken that step. And so we were just like waiting in the water, like floating there. Like we weren't moving up and we weren't moving down. We were just like, you know, even Steven, yeah, Pluto. So we really needed that push. Yeah, we needed that push, definitely. Another thing that I'm going kind of my brain travels back when I was younger, and I'm trying to like, hey King, you should have done this.

25:57 You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, when do you feel most alive? Yeah. Or what topics do you constantly research? You know, because again, we're always kinda looking, we're always kinda molding this persona that you want to be, right? You want to be happy. That's the the that's the bottom line, that's the goal. And again, it's not only about the money. Like you said, what kind of lifestyle do you want? You know, that was very important for us. Yeah. We also talk earlier about that many people feel guilty wanting something different. Right. You know, that's weird. Yeah. They just have this guilt, like, but I'm a doctor. Yeah. You know, I get a degree. I have to go to the hospital.

26:38 You know, and they like, hey, but do you enjoy being a doctor? Maybe that person is enjoying at some point helping people, you know. But at some point, maybe the doctor doesn't want to be a doctor anymore, wants to be a writer. What actually really resonated with a doctor was to be a writer. But a doctor feels this guilt. Guilt. Yeah. I gotta decree, I gotta go. Yeah. You know, and it's great that you're helping people and all that, you know, but now you're being selfish with yourself. You know, and now you're being like that, you're torn. That happens to a lot of people. And you're being selfish with the world too, because the world needs whatever you have to write about or whatever you have to offer.

27:19 Even though you're helping people, and that's when I think, you know, just give you a random example here, right? It's like in a delicate situation, right? Okay, do I go to work to help people to help my patients and or with that just start writing? Now, you can probably write wonderful things that can even help more people that you don't even know, but you're just holding it. Right. Right? Because you're just afraid to disappoint maybe your parents, disappoint your spouse, disappoint yourself, you're afraid of failure. We're all we all have the afraid of failure, right? So, so it's okay to uh redesign your life. Yes. Right? Somehow you have to find a way, okay.

28:01 Have to have to do something. Right. Well, it's even like on a lesser scale, we're kind of in that situation now with you with your job. Like, we're afraid to tell my dad that you lost your job. We were afraid to tell your mom that you lost your job. Because they'll start pressuring. Yeah. When you're getting another job, go out and get another job. Hurry up. Like they're scared for you. They're like, what are you gonna do about health insurance and how are you gonna pay your bills and all this other stuff? And it just puts so much more pressure on you. So it's like, you know, I've I've told my mom that you lost your job because she is an or was an entrepreneur.

28:42 She's retired now and sold her businesses, but you know, so she kind of understands what it takes to be an entrepreneur, but a lot of people don't. And a lot of people don't understand even if you don't want to be an entrepreneur, they don't understand that you need space to kind of figure it out. And it's really hard to do when you have a full-time job and all these responsibilities. It's time it's it's hard to sit back and be like, let me take a month off and just sit here and think, you know. When I told my mom, finally after you didn't tell her until well over a month later. Yeah, because my mom is gonna see she's gonna tell me she's gonna get a scare.

29:25 Right. Exactly. It's not about me. It is about me getting her fears onto you. She is like because in her in her own world she has these fears just like your dad. Right. You need a job. And yeah, I know that. I know what mom is gonna tell me I know, I know that. But she's telling me based on her fears. Right. And then now she's gonna feed uh feed my fears. And I don't want that. Right. We have enough of our own fears, we don't need to take on anybody else's energy of around fears. Right because I'm trying to really you know create this new me.

30:06 Yeah, you know what I mean? That I'm kinda choosing to be trying to mold, you know, this new persona again. And I don't want it just my mom to kinda tell me all the reasons why I should just go get a job. Which is exactly why I'm not even telling my dad, because I'll be like, Did Ken get a job yet? How many did he apply for today? Oh my god, how many interviews is he going on? And I don't want his negativity pressuring me because I'm trying to keep my head above the water with not panicking about the situation as it is. Exactly. I don't need somebody dragging me down, like you said, under the water. Like I don't I don't need that. I don't need that. I always and I said this in previous episode, I always expect the best.

30:49 Every single day I get up expecting the best. Rewriting your story, rewiring my brain. Yes, you know, things are happening. You know, things are happening. I'm creating something. We are we are all creators. Yeah. And again, we just forget about that too. Yeah. And we all need we all don't have a a cheerleader in our corner that's going to lift us up and be like, You got this, come on, oh my god, you can do it. No, most of the time it's more the opposite of where they want to drag you down, not because they don't want you to succeed, but because they're scared. Your friends, your family, they get scared for you, they get nervous and they think, Oh, geez, they're never gonna be able to do this, they're never gonna be able to pull that off, or they can't switch careers now.

31:34 They've been doing this for their whole life and they have a family to feed and this and that, and those things are true, but both can be true at the same time. You can have those responsibilities and you can work on yourself and your goals and your dreams and you need to be because you know, at some point you will be able to make the switch. Yeah, yeah, I know it's okay to redesign your life or my life. Yeah. Because again, that's resonating with me. I'm choosing happiness at a cost. Yes, there's always a cost. You're never gonna avoid the cost. There's a cost if I do it or if I don't do it, I'm gonna get a bail anyways.

32:15 Right. Right. So that's why I'm deciding okay, we're doing the podcast. We've been doing e-commerce for a long time now. We love it. And we just wanna help people. Right. This is this is the the icing on the cake for me is doing the podcast, and that's why we want this to work because this does fuel my soul and it fulfills me being able to share experience and share knowledge and help people, and hopefully they can help me as well, because I you know, we're we're going through this too. Oh, yeah, absolutely. We're not we haven't made it to the top.

32:56 Yeah, we're building together. Oh, absolutely. Right. Yeah, we're building together, but again, you have to be excited. You have to be excited. I am excited every single day. Yeah, sometimes I get like, oh right, we get nervous. Yeah. You know, but then I'm just like, okay, all right. Come on, move on. Yeah, everything is working out, and that's the approach that I need to have in order to get stuff accomplished. I'm not trying to fool myself, I'm actually lifting up myself. Right, you know, because you know, this is the ch the life I choose, the the new path I choose, and I'm walking through it not knowing what's the next step. Right. So, and it's scary, yeah, it's scary, but it's really scary.

33:38 Yeah, we know that there's a lot of people out there that they're or are stuck at a job or stuck in a business that they don't like, or stuck in a relationship, and they don't even know what to pick. Some people are just actually lucky that they have so many interests or so many opportunities. Hey, I have money in the bank. I can go to any college in in the US or in the world. Right. I can pay for it. But now the problem is what what that person wants. That the person doesn't know, she doesn't know the right path to go to. And that's why you I think that you should just write a list and get the things that actually excite you first and then tweak as you go. Because that's what we've been doing.

34:19 And design the design your day. Picture your perfect day. That's the biggest key takeaway that should be for people is to just design your day in your mind the way you want to wake up every day. Yeah, and the list is gonna change. Why? Because of course, yeah, your life is changing too. You're getting older. Yep. You know, if you used to party when you're in 20s or your 30s, you're gonna feel like, ugh, I don't feel like going to that club anymore. Right. Now you have to kind of what? Rewrite the list. Right. Tweak it. Yeah. Right. Or if you meet someone that has two kids and you don't have any kids, or if you want to have kids, now you have to tweak it again. So you're always tweaking the list. So the first thing that you want to do is just okay, what makes me excited about life right now, and start from there.

35:06 That's what I would do if I were younger. So, yes, a a list of the things that excite you, the things that you want to spend your time doing, the environment you want to be living in, just a list of things that you're excited about, get you get you motivated, what's in your heart? Yeah, what do you really, really want to do? And don't feel guilty about not about wanting to change something in your life or wanting to better your life, because this is your life to live. Yeah, nobody needs to approve of it. Nobody. And if you need somebody to approve of it, we are here to approve it for you, and we will be your cheerleaders because we'll be cheering you on. We don't we're here to be supportive of people that want to better their lives.

35:47 Absolutely. All right, so I think that's it for today, Kim. Yep. That's a wrap up. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Talk to you later. All right, bye-bye. Bye. Hey there. If you like this episode, please like, share, and join our community. And check out our website at Ken and Kim Podcast.com for free tools and resources. We'll talk to you next time.