April 9, 2026

Imposter Syndrome Is Keeping You Stuck (Here’s How to Break It) Episode 09

Imposter Syndrome Is Keeping You Stuck (Here’s How to Break It) Episode 09

Have you ever felt like you’re not qualified… not ready… or like you have no idea what you’re doing? Like at any moment, someone’s going to “find you out”? That’s imposter syndrome, and it’s one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck. In this episode, we talk about what imposter syndrome actually looks like in real life, especially when you’re trying to build something new. We share our own experience starting this podcast, showing up, putting in the work, and still feeling like we weren’t ...

Season 1

Have you ever felt like you’re not qualified… not ready… or like you have no idea what you’re doing?

Like at any moment, someone’s going to “find you out”?

That’s imposter syndrome, and it’s one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck.

In this episode, we talk about what imposter syndrome actually looks like in real life, especially when you’re trying to build something new.

We share our own experience starting this podcast, showing up, putting in the work, and still feeling like we weren’t getting anywhere.

Inside this episode:

  • Why imposter syndrome shows up when you’re doing something meaningful
  • The hidden belief behind it (“I’m not good enough”)
  • Why waiting to feel “ready” will keep you stuck
  • What to do when you feel like quitting
  • How to keep moving forward, even when you don’t feel confident

This is a real, honest conversation about pushing through doubt, learning as you go, and showing up anyway.

If you’ve ever felt like a fraud… or like you don’t know what you’re doing…

You’re not alone.

And this episode will help you keep going.

New episodes every week

Follow along as we navigate what it really looks like to rebuild your life, together.

Send a text message to the show!

Support the show

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.320
Right, Kim, I know we were talking earlier about the imposter syndrome versus when you feel confident.

00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:25.760
And I know you said that imposter syndrome kicks in once in a while when you're working on a project, when you're working on the website, when you're working on the blog or writing books, and then you're doing a good job, and then all of a sudden you feel like the imposter syndrome kicks in.

00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:32.640
Yeah, I was actually looking back through some of my topics with ChatGPT.

00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:33.119
Yeah.

00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:41.280
I noticed one that I had that was when we were first first starting the podcast.

00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:42.000
Yeah.

00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:47.039
And I was reading it and it said, I feel like I'm losing focus.

00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:48.479
I don't know which way to go.

00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:51.759
I feel my imposter syndrome at an all-time high.

00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:57.439
I'm remembering my why, which is because I want to help people, but I just don't see how I can do it.

00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:03.600
I know I need to just keep showing up and doing the work, but it's been super hard lately not to quit.

00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:22.719
I remember when I wrote that, I was trying to pull topics and think of all the things that we were going through when we were first starting, like the technical stuff, the flow of each episode, and all the different pieces that we never realized would go into a podcast.

00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:24.879
We're trying to figure all that out.

00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:25.359
Yeah.

00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:30.079
And one thing after the next, we just kept running into all these roadblocks.

00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:31.280
Like we're trying to record.

00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:42.480
We recorded so many episodes before we even released any because we were just trying to figure out our own flow, our own feel, what we wanted it to look like and all these things.

00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:47.680
So I remember feeling like so much resistance about it.

00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:48.000
Yeah.

00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:49.840
And I felt I just wanted to quit.

00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:53.280
I just wanted to give up because nothing we were doing was working.

00:01:53.439 --> 00:01:58.079
We were showing up night after night, recording, doing all these things, and still we had nothing.

00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:00.640
I felt like we weren't moving forward.

00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:03.840
Of course, we were moving forward in the scheme of things.

00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:07.120
We were moving forward because that is all part of the process.

00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:07.599
Yeah.

00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:12.159
But I was so frustrated and I felt like we had gotten nothing.

00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:19.439
I just remember like venting to Chat GPT, which I do quite often, and it talks me down off the ledge.

00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:30.719
But yeah, I have great moments of confidence, and I also struggle with great moments of imposter syndrome where I'm like, who am I to be doing this?

00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:32.319
I don't even know what we're doing.

00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:34.560
I don't even know what we're gonna talk about.

00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:36.560
I don't even know how to do a podcast.

00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:40.560
We can't even figure out the technical part of it, like all these things.

00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:40.960
Yeah.

00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:47.439
And it's so hard because yes, we're showing up, but we weren't moving forward.

00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:50.479
And I just I wanted to quit.

00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:54.400
I didn't want to because I love it, but it was so hard.

00:02:54.560 --> 00:02:55.680
I wanted to quit.

00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:56.800
Yeah, yeah.

00:02:56.960 --> 00:03:00.000
And where do you think that this imposter syndrome started?

00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:06.159
Maybe when you were little or when you were like any idea where all that kind of kicks in?

00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:12.080
I'm not exactly sure, but I know that I have beliefs that are buried deep down, of course.

00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:16.479
Most people have them that stop them from doing something they love, right?

00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:23.360
They're like, oh, who am I to be a basketball player or a writer or whatever it is?

00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:31.199
They're like, I don't I know that I have deep buried beliefs that I'm not good enough or whatever.

00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:31.919
Yeah.

00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:39.199
They're just really ingrained in our brain, and we have to find a way to fight them and find a way to overcome those things.

00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:48.719
It is not easy because uh I know a lot of people they're in the same boat uh you were or we were, and still we're kinda still trying to overcome those things.

00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:51.840
And then when do you feel like the most confident?

00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:57.680
I feel most confident when I'm in a state of flow, of course.

00:03:57.759 --> 00:03:58.080
Yeah.

00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:09.759
And I when I'm digging into something and I'm not hitting walls, I'm not hitting roadblocks like I just am flowing and doing my thing, or when I'm being really creative, that kind of thing.

00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:25.439
But as soon as I start hitting those roadblocks, like I was talking about, for example, with the podcast, we're hitting all these technical roadblocks, or we were um hitting roadblocks of how we wanted the episode to unfold the layout flow of it.

00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:27.199
We hit that for months.

00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:27.680
Yeah.

00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:28.000
Yeah.

00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:31.839
And the more we hit it, the more resistance I was feeling.

00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:34.399
I was just feeling, oh my God, this is never gonna work.

00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:35.199
We can't do this.

00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:35.920
Who are we?

00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:38.000
Well what are we even doing, anyways?

00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:38.800
Why are we here?

00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.079
Who who are we teaching?

00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:46.240
And I feel like I want to give up because it creates this insecurity in me.

00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:54.240
When in reality, on my good days, of course, I know that I'm able to push through insecurities that I may have.

00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:54.800
Yeah.

00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:56.319
I think that happens to everyone.

00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:03.199
Like uh when everyone is working on a project and the project is important enough, and then I just feel like they want to quit.

00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:10.079
And it's funny because you have your life coach certification through Mind Valley, which I think that's amazing.

00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:14.480
And I remember seeing you taking the classes every single day, putting the work.

00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:18.720
You were always intrigued, you're always reading, always analyzing.

00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:20.959
I know you love psychology.

00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:26.639
I know that you can read people, I know that you can understand so many topics, right?

00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:31.199
And then even though with all the knowledge you have, you still have the imposter syndrome.

00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:31.839
How crazy.

00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:32.720
Yeah.

00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:42.160
I love learning and I love reading and listening to podcasts and watching documentaries and reading all the books and all the things, and I'm like, Yeah, I love it.

00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:44.000
I I just everything about it.

00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:45.360
I love personal development.

00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:47.839
So I'm always eager to learn more about it.

00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:51.839
But still, when it comes down to it, there's so much to learn.

00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:54.319
So you always feel like I don't know enough.

00:05:54.560 --> 00:06:00.000
And so I'm gonna let me read a few more books or let me do a few more things and then I'll be ready.

00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:03.439
But the truth is, I'm never going to be ready.

00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:24.480
I just have to jump in and continue learning and growing as I go, which is part of why I love this podcast, is because I'm excited to learn from listeners and have these conversations because I like to know other people's point of view or what has worked for them, what didn't work for them, because that's how we learn.

00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:25.040
Right.

00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:32.319
And I think also the imposter syndrome kicks in because the fear of failure or to not be accepted or validated.

00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:33.680
And that you're like, oh man.

00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:37.920
Which is one of my core beliefs that we're talking about is I'm not good enough.

00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:43.199
And I think so many people struggle with that belief, whether they realize it or not.

00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:47.360
It's like a core belief that so many people struggle with.

00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:47.680
Yeah.

00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:50.079
And it can show up in so many different forms.

00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:58.160
So you may not even realize it, but when you start digging deeper and deeper, when you get to the core of it, it's I'm not good enough.

00:06:58.399 --> 00:06:58.560
Yeah.

00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:00.399
And we talked about this in the past.

00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:11.120
There is people that they have low self-esteem or they were raised in such an environment and they feel uncomfortable when they get out of their bubble, right?

00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:11.519
Yeah.

00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:19.040
They need to find that uh to align again what is comfortable for them, even though it could be toxic.

00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:31.759
Just to give an example, someone that was in a relationship and they've had this crappy relationship and they knew it was crappy all along, and then they finally break up and they want to start a new relationship.

00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:42.319
But then when that person tries to move on and meet someone new, they end up finding someone just like before because they are feeling that they're getting out of their comfort zone.

00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:43.040
Yes.

00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:44.399
I'm not good enough.

00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:53.120
I'm not that person to reach out more than that because I'm not gonna fake it, and then you just fall into again the same trap.

00:07:53.360 --> 00:07:56.560
Yep, they're they're fulfilling their core belief, which is I'm not good enough.

00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:08.480
So even if that person looks different, has a different job, whatever it is, they're still in some way fulfilling that core belief, which is I'm not good enough.

00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:09.360
I'm not good enough.

00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:10.079
Exactly.

00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:11.439
And it's crazy, right?

00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:20.000
Because we met people in the past like that, and they're in this loop, yeah, and they don't even know how to get out, and they wonder why things are not working out.

00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:28.240
I've been stuck in so many of those loops my entire life in different types of relationships and situations in my own life.

00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:31.839
We all do it for different beliefs, whatever they may be.

00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:38.639
Yeah, so we have to put a lot of work into ourselves and try to change and be actually believing ourselves.

00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:39.759
And but we don't.

00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:51.840
For some reason, social media or parents or society has a great impact in us that really get us stuck in a way that we just feel like we're not good enough.

00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:53.679
We don't deserve better.

00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:54.240
Yeah.

00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:56.159
You don't have what it takes.

00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:58.799
And there are so many people out there, it's crazy.

00:08:58.960 --> 00:08:59.279
Yeah.

00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:00.080
It's crazy.

00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:04.720
There are beliefs that get ingrained when you are a young child.

00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:07.679
I can't remember the age range, so don't quote me.

00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:12.399
I think it's like nine through fourteen or something like that, or eight through fourteen.

00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:13.039
I can't remember.

00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:13.759
Don't quote me.

00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:14.960
I would have to look that up.

00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:32.879
But that's when all of this like really ingrains in you, and you learn it from your parents, your family, your community, your teachers, your peers, all of those people, like things that you're learning at that time, those beliefs will get ingrained into you.

00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:36.159
And it's always there, driving everything that you do.

00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:41.039
The situations will keep reoccurring in your life until you learn that lesson.

00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:46.080
It's going to show up in different forms in your life through different characters, different people, whatever.

00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:52.480
The insecurity that is coming from that belief will keep reappearing until you learn the lesson.

00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:59.039
And then once you finally learn that lesson, you're like, holy shit, now I see.

00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:07.519
And I've experienced that quite recently with a lesson that I needed to learn through my 45 years.

00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:14.960
I finally have seen the light, and I'm like, oh, that's why this keeps reoccurring in my life.

00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:18.000
And now I know I need to shut it down.

00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:18.480
Yeah.

00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:23.440
Yeah, because there is programmed we're just getting up in the morning, you're getting ready.

00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:26.399
And everything is hitting you by default.

00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:27.039
Yeah.

00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:28.720
We do not expect.

00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:30.159
We hope things change.

00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:32.399
Yeah, we hope we get different results.

00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:34.639
But we expect the same.

00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:35.200
The same.

00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:36.799
Because that's what we know.

00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:37.840
Yeah, that's what we know.

00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:41.519
One side of your brain is telling you, why is this always happening to me?

00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:43.840
It's because you just defaulted to that.

00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:44.879
And it's really hard to say.

00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:46.080
You haven't learned your lesson yet.

00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:47.120
You haven't learned your lesson.

00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:48.879
Yeah, it's very crazy.

00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:50.879
And it's a really interesting topic.

00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:52.399
This happened to all of us.

00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:55.519
We wonder why this keeps happening to me, whatever the case might be.

00:10:55.759 --> 00:11:02.080
If you have no money, or if you're gonna meet in the wrong people, or if you want to change, or if you get a new job.

00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:04.960
Let's say you have this crappy job but you want to get a new one.

00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:05.279
Yeah.

00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:07.039
Because there is too much drama work.

00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:12.080
And then you move to the new one three months in, the drama kicks in again.

00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:13.279
And you wonder why.

00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:15.039
Oh my god, again.

00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:15.759
Yeah.

00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:23.360
But again, it's because that person is showing and is showing the same old behaviors.

00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.240
And that's why you draw that into your life.

00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:29.519
But when you change the way you think, I'm not gonna get into that.

00:11:29.600 --> 00:11:34.000
If you walk away right away, if you're gonna start doing the work in the morning, hey, you know what?

00:11:34.159 --> 00:11:34.879
I'm not gonna get into that.

00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:36.960
Engage into that, and I'm a new person.

00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:39.360
There's just a lot of kind of inner work that we have to do.

00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:52.399
A lot of people don't even have time to think that because we get up in the morning, the first thing we do, we grab the cell phone, check the emails and whatever, and now the day is being taken by whatever day is notifications you're getting.

00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:53.919
Whatever direction you're being pulled.

00:11:54.240 --> 00:11:57.200
And it's funny because sometimes you're like, I'm gonna have a good day.

00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.159
And you get a crappy email or a call or whatever, and now the day goes like that.

00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:04.399
You have no control at all of the day.

00:12:04.639 --> 00:12:07.279
Even though you're trying to control it, but now it's going that route.

00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:07.600
Yeah.

00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:14.720
You get a crappy email or the crappy call at 7.30 in the morning, get another one at 8.30, you're getting ready, blah, blah, blah.

00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:17.120
And now everything is just going by default.

00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:19.759
You have no control if you think you do, but you don't.

00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:20.240
Yeah.

00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:26.240
And that's why your state of mind in the morning is so important when you're getting up to direct the day.

00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:27.919
Where do you want the day to go?

00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:31.200
And that's hard because some people they don't even know what they want.

00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:35.120
They're just going through life, yeah, but what do I want?

00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:35.519
Yeah.

00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:38.080
Everyone wants freaking millions in the bank.

00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:39.519
But that's not the answer.

00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:40.879
Yeah, that's gonna help.

00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:42.960
Once you have money in the bank, that's great.

00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:53.519
But there's more to that because the money in the bank at some point is gonna become again a routine, and then you have to break it, you have to mold this new reality that the money gave you.

00:12:53.840 --> 00:13:05.279
But if you don't change, you have the change in you, you're gonna continue defaulting to the imposter syndrome, or that I'm not good enough, or waste is happening to me.

00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:08.399
And there's a lot of work that that we have to do.

00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:10.480
And sadly, we don't do it.

00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:10.960
Right.

00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:17.679
Sadly, we just don't do it because again, we don't know how to fight it, how to really make the changes.

00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.320
You don't have the techniques, you don't even know how to do it.

00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:23.840
Some people pray, but the praise is just to, oh, I just want to get by.

00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:25.440
I just hopefully get the money to pay.

00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:29.360
It's just little things that we're just hoping and it's not enough.

00:13:29.440 --> 00:13:30.960
It takes more than that, it takes action.

00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:31.200
Yeah.

00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:33.200
And I'm not saying that's gonna work for everyone.

00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:34.720
You need to make the time.

00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:39.039
I don't have time either, but I make the time because it's super important to me.

00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:47.440
We do because if you see, if you check even on your cell phone, how long you you've been online or whatever, it's gonna show four hours easily.

00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:47.840
Yeah.

00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:48.639
Throughout the day.

00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:53.039
No, you have to make the time and show up for what's important to you.

00:13:53.120 --> 00:14:05.759
And something that's important to me, to us, is cons constantly working on personal development and growing ourselves together in a relationship as individuals in our businesses.

00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:07.600
We don't sit around every night.

00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:16.399
We used to, we have, and we go through periods of it, but we don't sit around at night binge watching Netflix or a series or this or that.

00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:21.360
I know friends always ask me, like, oh, have you seen this series or what series are you into?

00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:22.879
And I'm like, never heard of it.

00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:23.360
I don't know.

00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:23.679
Exactly.

00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:26.000
I'm not saying we don't do that at times.

00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:35.679
We do watch a movie here and there or whatever to relax, but we're more focused on developing ourselves, exactly working on our goals.

00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:36.159
Yeah.

00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:38.080
I know for a lot of people that's hard.

00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:39.440
I gotta watch my show.

00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:42.639
My mom always says, just gonna watch TV.

00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:43.679
That's what I like to do.

00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:45.279
And she already she believes that.

00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:46.399
She says it.

00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:47.679
I like to watch TV.

00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:48.320
And that's fine.

00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:49.679
Yes, I'm looking forward to it.

00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:53.919
And that's because she's not aspiring for anything more or anything different.

00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:58.399
Of course, she's she's in her 70s, so she's already lived her life.

00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:05.919
Not that her life is over, but I'm just saying she's already done her part and she's at a point where she's comfortable in life, and that's fine.

00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:08.080
Whatever that looks like for you, that's fine.

00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:18.799
But for me, learning and growing and constantly striving to better myself is what keeps me going and alive.

00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:19.279
Yeah.

00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:22.080
If I'm not growing, I'm dying.

00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:23.200
Another yeah.

00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:24.720
I don't know if that's a good quote.

00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:25.600
No, it's true.

00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:33.440
I think what happened, another thing that happens to people, to all of us, is just you grab a book today and you read two to five pages called it.

00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:36.320
You feel like you didn't move the needle.

00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:39.440
No, I feel that all the time, and I'm going through book after book.

00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:40.960
I'm like, I'm getting nowhere.

00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:42.320
And I get so frustrated.

00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:44.799
And that's when the imposter syndrome creaks in.

00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:45.679
And or a Netflix.

00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:46.399
Oh, just get on.

00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.440
We guess I'm gonna watch a movie.

00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:49.600
Yeah, because you feel like you're not moving the needle.

00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:55.679
But again, when you show up every single day and you're reading the books, it's not only about reading books.

00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:56.320
It's a good thing.

00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:06.320
Or maybe if you diet, if you maybe change the way you're acting, maybe you have some anger problem, hey, I'm gonna take a deep breath, any issue.

00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:10.799
You just have to show up and do the work a little bit at a time.

00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:12.080
And it's gonna take time.

00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:16.559
The thing that always breaks us is that we don't see the results.

00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:16.960
Yeah.

00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:19.600
Not even one day, two hours, one week, two weeks.

00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:22.320
But trust me, it's a compound effect.

00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:22.879
Exactly.

00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:25.039
Six months after you're gonna start feeling different.

00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:28.080
If you go to the gym for six months, you're gonna start feeling different.

00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:30.480
Now, you might not see it because I hear it also.

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.519
Oh man, I go to the gym every single day for six months, nothing's happening.

00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.039
Stuff is happening, you're gonna your body's getting healthier.

00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:37.679
Yeah, yeah.

00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:42.320
You might still be a little chubby or skinny or whatever, but your body is getting healthy.

00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:44.559
Okay, now you're going through a process.

00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:46.320
Same when you're reading the books.

00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:46.799
Yeah.

00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.200
You just read the three, five pages.

00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:55.039
Now your brain is getting some of that information, and now you start seeing life differently.

00:16:55.360 --> 00:17:01.360
You read five pages today and you read five pages tomorrow, and then by the end of it, you've read a full book.

00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:02.240
Moved the needle.

00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:02.879
Exactly.

00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:06.640
And then you have these aha moments like, oh, about your life.

00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.079
The book is telling you, oh.

00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:13.279
Even though you're not changing it right in there when you're reading it, but it's touching the wood.

00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:17.440
And that is a very important part that is just in the acknowledgement.

00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:20.319
You acknowledge, oh, yep, this is me.

00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:24.480
And then when you acknowledge, that's when the change starts.

00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:29.599
Because the thing is that we all have issues, but sometimes that we just don't know exactly how to pinpoint the issues.

00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:32.960
Like when the muscle hurts and the doctor asks you, How do you feel?

00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:34.240
What kind of pain do you feel?

00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:39.279
But it's just like a unique it you can even find the right words to tell the doctor.

00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:40.880
Going through that right now.

00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.680
I can't stand.

00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:45.279
And they're like, pinpoint your pain and circle it on this thing.

00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:49.200
And I'm like, I don't know, it's all from my exactly, exactly.

00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:54.720
If you could pinpoint the exact problem, it's a pain, okay, but then we have to narrow it.

00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:57.440
And it gets harder when we can narrow it.

00:17:57.519 --> 00:17:57.680
Yeah.

00:17:57.839 --> 00:18:00.400
But that's why you have to do the work from the from the outside.

00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:09.920
You'll pick a book, go to the gym, change your ways, change the way you think, something to really start narrowing and going inner, actually.

00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:31.839
And it's gonna you're gonna get the answers because you know how many answers I got in the past that it applied for me to be here today filming this episode, and also for so many things that we we did in the past, with the businesses, with the websites, our relationship, jobs, so many projects.

00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:44.160
Yeah, and all those took a certain amount of energy and dedication and acknowledgement to kind of know am I gonna do this project, how am I gonna change moving forward?

00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:46.240
And we did all the work in the past.

00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:56.880
That's where we at right now, and that's why we decided hey, we're gonna do this podcast, because we've been through so many things, and then we thought, hey, we had a lot of value to to share out there.

00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:10.640
And we heard so many times, the people that we met in Connecticut, and even here when we moved here to Arizona, when people kind of hear about our life, they all get they all always have this kind of oh wow, this that's interesting.

00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:12.559
Everyone has an interesting story.

00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:15.200
Yeah, everyone have an interesting story.

00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:22.480
The thing is, it doesn't seem interesting for that person that is going through the life because this is just my life.

00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:28.799
But it's interesting to hear about others and how are they doing, how are they thinking.

00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:36.000
We have this constant curiosity for others because we daily have these inner battles.

00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:43.920
But when they hear other stories resonates with you, we basically have to show up and try to do the work and move forward in life.

00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:46.799
That's how I've been pushing through the fear.

00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:53.440
When I feel that resistance or when I feel those fears creeping in, I have to really remind myself.

00:19:53.599 --> 00:20:00.000
Like I have to have an inner conversation and be like, okay, Kim, why are you doing whatever it is that you're doing?

00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:01.359
The podcast, for example.

00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:02.559
Why are you doing it?

00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:09.119
And I have to remind myself, I'm doing it because I care deeply about helping people.

00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:11.519
I'm doing this because I love to help people.

00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:12.640
That's my passion.

00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:14.960
It like fulfills me inside.

00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:19.200
I know that is my why in this life is I want to help people.

00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:22.160
And I know that I have a lot to share with people.

00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:33.680
I know I've learned a lot because I just, as we said, like I continue working on myself and working on learning all the things that I can about mindset, personal development, that type of thing.

00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:39.680
I have to remind myself that I don't have to know everything to start, right?

00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:43.920
I just need to like start where I am and then continue learning.

00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:48.960
And it's almost like we can learn and share as we go.

00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:53.119
Life is a continuous learning process.

00:20:53.440 --> 00:21:04.640
You can't learn everything there is to know about every topic I want to talk about, but I can just continue sharing what I have learned and sharing my own experiences.

00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:08.960
And that's what grounds me and keeps me moving forward.

00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:28.960
And I know that a big part of imposter syndrome for me is that when I do feel that I have those inner conversations with myself and I give myself the moment, whatever that looks like, if it takes a day, if it takes a couple days, maybe a week, I hope not, but sometimes it does.

00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:36.240
But I need to jump back in and keep moving forward with whatever the project is, in this case, the podcast.

00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:38.960
Like I need to just jump back in and get back in there.

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:47.680
But I do give us space if when we do hit those roadblocks and whatnot, and we're not feeling the flow of an episode and we're frustrated and all those things.

00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:48.640
I give us space.

00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:59.680
We'll take a few days away from recording and go back to the drawing board, or we'll readdress it, or I'll do some other research on some other topics.

00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:00.480
Or whatever.

00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:07.039
I'll move forward in a different way versus something that's to me is more moving the needle, which is recording the episodes.

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:13.519
But I'll move forward in in a different way in the meantime until I can regain, regroup, and all those things.

00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:22.319
And just to change the topic a little, you said something funny that I know we talked this the last week about the little voices talking in your head.

00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:27.839
And we were talking in our backyard, we were having a drink, and then we're talking about the voices.

00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:29.680
I guess people have some voices.

00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:31.279
How funny that is, right?

00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:38.799
And again, it's that like imposter syndrome, but now it's just like another you in your head.

00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:39.920
It's your ego.

00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:40.799
Or your ego.

00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:42.480
Yeah that sabotage you.

00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:49.279
You want to do something, and it's just you just get this voice in your head telling you, no, this is not gonna work out.

00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:51.279
Yeah, it's your ego, yeah, for sure.

00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:52.000
Yeah.

00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:56.480
But there's some people that really control those voices, can control those voices.

00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:59.440
Yeah, I'm working really hard on controlling those voices.

00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:08.160
It's a constant battle, and it's almost like the age old like devil on one shoulder, angel on the other, and it's the devil's you can't do that.

00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:09.279
Who the who are you?

00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:10.000
Blah blah blah.

00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:12.000
And the angels, of course you can do that.

00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:14.799
The angel, the angel and the you're so wonderful.

00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:15.839
The angel and the devil.

00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:16.400
Yeah, yeah.

00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:22.960
Yeah, that's your ego talking, and that's a whole other topic, but for sure that's what it is.

00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:41.920
And I'm constantly learning more about that topic because I love that topic, how to control that voice in your head, because that's not truly who you are, and you do need to learn to control it, and you can control it, even though it seems impossible to be able to control that voice.

00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:54.799
It is possible because those loops are constantly running, and that voice is constantly talking you out of things, talking you into bad decisions or bad habits or whatever, and you can control that.

00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:59.680
So, yeah, Kim, and then you said that there's the ego talking, and then I looked it up really quick.

00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:04.319
And there's a mediator in your mind also, and there is your true identity.

00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:04.720
Yeah.

00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:11.599
So the mediator is trying to kind of balance who in your primitive desires so you can make your rational choices.

00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:14.000
Your identity is who you believe, who you are.

00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:17.440
But the ego kicks in and in a good way or in a bad way.

00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:22.240
Like I was telling us, telling you a minute ago, we weren't filming, we were talking about this.

00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:24.720
We thought we were filming, but we weren't.

00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:25.519
Exactly.

00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:30.799
People that are fake, that they need to really fake it, fake.

00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:32.319
They just love it to go fake.

00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:40.400
That is just and they believe it, and other people believe it, and they're just feeling this like a hungry ego.

00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:41.599
That's so sad.

00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:46.400
When you're being fake, again, we go back to our core beliefs, right?

00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:53.519
And it's someone's being fake because their core belief is I'm not good enough.

00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:58.079
So I have to fake this identity to fit in.

00:24:58.559 --> 00:24:58.960
Yeah.

00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:01.759
And we as humans, we always want to fit in.

00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:06.160
That is our core desire is fitting in.

00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.039
Yeah.

00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:12.960
And so when somebody's faking something, they just want their desire is just to fit in.

00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:15.279
Or show like a superiority.

00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:21.920
I'm better than you, or I know this topic, or they need to feel themselves that they're like, oh, I know what you're talking about.

00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:23.200
Oh, I've seen that.

00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:24.480
They one up, yeah.

00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:24.880
Yeah.

00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:26.720
Yeah, that's a whole other personality.

00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:28.799
Actually, I was telling our daughter that tonight.

00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:36.160
She's constantly trying to, she's nine and constantly trying to one up our son who's 19.

00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:39.440
And I'm like, You gotta stop trying to one-up him.

00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:41.599
Nobody wants to be around a one-upper.

00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:42.559
Cut it out.

00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:45.839
I hung up two school certificates that he got.

00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:54.160
And when I hung them up, I said to him, What do you think the first thing your sister's gonna do when she gets home from school when she sees these?

00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:59.200
He was like, Oh yeah, she's gonna have to like talk whatever about it.

00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:06.480
And almost immediately she zoned in on those two certificates when she walked through that door.

00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:08.720
That is the first thing she saw.

00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:12.559
But yes, two days later happens to be that she got a certificate.

00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:13.599
And what did she do?

00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:17.359
She pushed his sign and pinned hers up right next to it.

00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:22.559
I get it, siblings are competitive, like man, she had to one-up them.

00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:26.799
I was like, honey, you gotta just congratulate him.

00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:28.480
And it's a whole other story.

00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:30.799
Yeah, that's the family dynamics, right?

00:26:31.119 --> 00:26:33.119
Sibling rivalry, that's called.

00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:33.680
Yeah.

00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:38.720
But in society is different because I know in the end when they get older, they're gonna love each other, they're gonna support each other.

00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.720
We hope so, but in this moment it's hard to see when you're in the trenches.

00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:44.400
No, I think we're a lovely family.

00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:45.359
Lovely.

00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:52.160
And yeah, and I think that we're raising good kids and that they're gonna be good to themselves, to each other, and to society.

00:26:52.319 --> 00:27:00.079
So I'm 100% certain of that because we just put in every single day, every ounce of our energies to make sure that we're raising to good human beings.

00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:00.559
Yeah.

00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:04.079
So that you have some sort of a results down the road.

00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:17.039
And like with everything, like we would talk ten minutes ago about reading the book, five pages, three pages, how that is gonna really impact after going to the gym or changing the diet, or changing your ways.

00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:27.039
And this is all part of how to really overcome those imposter syndromes or other issues or confident issues that we all have that we go through life.

00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:29.599
And that was a good example with the kids.

00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:30.480
That's what we are.

00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:33.519
This is benign when you're a kid.

00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:37.039
But the thing is that gets really nasty when we get older.

00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:37.599
Yeah.

00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:50.559
In business, or when we're gonna now really be mean to other people because we wanna accomplish something or achieve something, regardless of how we're making someone feel.

00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:52.319
And it happens every single day.

00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:52.720
Yeah.

00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:56.079
And the crazy part is some people even go to bed like, it's okay.

00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:58.640
I just got it in order to get it done.

00:27:58.880 --> 00:27:59.200
Yeah.

00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:01.920
And and life shouldn't be like that.

00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:10.640
Because we all have these problems, these struggles to just go through life trying to hurt other people or try to achieve things just to step in on others.

00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:11.440
That's so bad.

00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:12.079
I hate that.

00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:13.200
Unethical.

00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:16.640
Or just because you have to feed your ego.

00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:17.359
Yeah.

00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:22.799
I don't I can't comprehend people who thrive off of that.

00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:26.240
That doesn't make sense in my brain and my world.

00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:29.599
I don't need to feed my ego for anything.

00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:35.839
I feel like I feel good when I raise other people up.

00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:41.680
The whole feeding my own ego for my own gain, benefit, whatever.

00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:44.000
I that doesn't resonate with me on any level.

00:28:44.319 --> 00:28:52.880
I feel good when I'm raising people up, which again leads me back to my why, which is I just want to help people.

00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:56.640
And I mean that I I want to help people who want to help themselves.

00:28:56.960 --> 00:28:57.519
I yeah.

00:28:57.839 --> 00:29:03.119
But another thing that kicks in a lot of people is it's to be selfish.

00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:06.559
We don't we get jealous, selfish and jealous.

00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:27.359
And because let's say someone is getting a promotion, someone's getting more money, or someone met like this amazing person, and then let's say your friend or your cousin, whatever, is telling you, and then instead of just being happy, you still have this kind of really this kind of jealousy, or struggle with that a lot.

00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:34.559
It is a lot of people struggle with that because those that struggle with that is because man, what the fuck?

00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:44.160
I'm doing the work, and now you're all of a sudden you're telling me that you are making more money than me, or you're making this kind of money, or that you meet this kind of people.

00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:44.640
Yeah.

00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:51.759
And then you feel like you you've been putting a huge amount of work on the side that no one is seeing.

00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.119
So you're basically sweating blood of what is it?

00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:55.920
Blood sweaters.

00:29:58.079 --> 00:30:08.960
You're really struggling, and then all of a sudden this, oh, I met this guy, or oh, I got his promotion and making 250,000 a year, and I go two days uh a week to work, you know, and we were like, What the hell?

00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:10.400
What the heck are you doing?

00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:11.200
You know what I mean?

00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:16.960
And it kicks in like in this ego trying to like so many things that really kicks internally.

00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:21.039
I do struggle with that, but I try sometimes.

00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:29.119
It takes me a few days, first few days when I hear news of something like that, whatever it is, who's the business is thriving or whatever.

00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:34.000
When like I'm struggling to do certain things, it will trigger me.

00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:39.039
And it takes me a few days, but then I'm like, why wouldn't I be happy for this person?

00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:43.279
They've been working really hard, they've wanted this really badly.

00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:48.559
So sometimes it takes me a few days, and I that is something I'm reflecting on within myself.

00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:52.960
Like, why can't I just immediately be happy for somebody?

00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:56.880
Because I see, let's say somebody posts something on Facebook or wherever.

00:30:57.359 --> 00:30:58.240
I'm so excited.

00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:00.640
Oh my God, this is happening, whatever it is.

00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:01.119
Yeah.

00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:06.720
And I see in the comments, people are like, oh my gosh, congratulations, that's amazing.

00:31:06.880 --> 00:31:09.359
And I'm like, I'm not gonna congratulate this one.

00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:17.279
How are how do they immediately get to that that feeling of being so genuine?

00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:22.240
And I know it's like genuine people because like I know certain of the people like I know.

00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:26.400
It's like I posted 13 seconds ago and then they're reply five seconds ago.

00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:33.119
But like certain posts like from people that I know, and like I know that person is genuinely excited for them.

00:31:33.279 --> 00:31:33.440
Yeah.

00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:36.000
Why isn't that my initial feeling?

00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:39.599
Why is my initial feeling more of a jealousy?

00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:43.519
Or I'm like, I know they get that and I can't, and I've whatever.

00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:52.559
And again, that's something I am searching within myself and working on because days later or whatever it is, however long it takes me to.

00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.279
Congratulations, five days after in the post.

00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:56.079
You're the last one.

00:31:56.640 --> 00:31:57.839
You're reviving the post.

00:31:58.079 --> 00:31:59.200
No, I generally just don't.

00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:00.240
I'm kidding, I know.

00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:00.640
I'm kidding.

00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:02.160
I don't comment on people's posts.

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:07.119
But now that I'm now that we're having this conversation, I'm thinking about it.

00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:09.119
And I am like a processor.

00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:12.880
I'm a person that needs to process things, whatever it is.

00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:16.160
Bad, good, means nothing, doesn't matter.

00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:18.400
Like I have to process things.

00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:19.680
So maybe that's why.

00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:29.359
Maybe I'm just like a processor, and that's why I can't immediately jump to a feeling of excitement for this person, but whatever it is, I don't know.

00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:39.759
But I'm thinking like, oh, gee, like they're having a baby, but I thought they were like struggling financially or having a bad relationship, and my mind goes to those things.

00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:42.400
Maybe it's more out of concern for the part.

00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:42.880
I don't know.

00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:46.720
I don't know what it is, but maybe it comes from a place of judgment.

00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:47.200
I don't know.

00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:52.240
But it is something I'm working on because I genuinely want to be happy for people.

00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:52.559
Yeah.

00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:58.400
And I feel like I have gotten way better with it from where I used to be.

00:32:58.559 --> 00:32:58.799
Yeah.

00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:00.400
But I feel like it's normal.

00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:01.440
I know.

00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:02.640
I hear it all the time.

00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:06.000
It's a normal thing because we all are in this race.

00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.400
We're all competing to each other, believe it or not.

00:33:08.559 --> 00:33:14.079
And social media now is kind of making everyone to show the trophies.

00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:19.279
That's a good point when you say we're competing, but I'm not a competitive person.

00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:20.160
No, you're at all.

00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:22.000
Like, I don't give a shit.

00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:27.440
As long as you're playing the same game as me and you're being fair, I'm not competitive.

00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:29.359
Yeah, but there is like a inner race.

00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:32.240
Imagine that there's like a hundred thousand lanes.

00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:33.680
You're supposed to be on one of them.

00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:35.200
But you're like, I'm not there.

00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:36.480
You don't have your avatar.

00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:40.160
Now that you're saying it's boiling down to my own insecurities.

00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:41.759
My avatar is not there.

00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:42.160
Yeah.

00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:43.920
And then you see the race from far away.

00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:46.319
Because I I don't post anything on social media.

00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:49.200
I like more like a sort of a private life.

00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:56.720
And if I do, it's just me when I capture the moment with my daughter or with you, whatever, not to really show off.

00:33:56.880 --> 00:34:03.920
Yeah, we all have this kind of weakness to kind of show off a little bit because we want to kind of show off desire.

00:34:04.400 --> 00:34:07.519
Because some people get too excited with this, oh my god, this place is so amazing.

00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:09.360
I gotta really post it, whatever.

00:34:09.519 --> 00:34:11.760
Because it's an experience that is kind of overwhelming.

00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:22.159
Your brain is getting you so excited you feel like the rush to uh share it with others, share it in social media, expecting that people will see it to share it in an authentic way, in a good way.

00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:24.320
And some other people kind of want to flex it.

00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:28.880
Oh, you know, you're in the Bahamas, you're in the Hawaii, that the freaking five-star, whatever resource.

00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:33.599
Some people kind of everyone has a different way to share these experiences.

00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:35.360
And some people don't give a crap.

00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:38.960
I don't care that we don't, I don't, yeah, we care at all.

00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:40.320
We don't post a lot in social media.

00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:47.519
When I do post, um if we'll check into a place, it's more I'm gonna be excited when I see this and my memories pop up like in a year.

00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:54.480
Like I literally don't post anything for likes or for to make people jealous or anything like that.

00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:55.199
I'm genuinely.

00:34:55.519 --> 00:35:02.719
And there are a lot of people like that, they just oh my god, they just love the likes, they just like the clicks, they just like the plenty of those in my yeah, that's crazy.

00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:09.360
And all this is part of the imposter syndrome, feeling confident with yourself, not good enough belief.

00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:10.239
Uh-huh.

00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:17.039
The ego kicking in, your conscience, mind that I just want to be accepted.

00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:18.480
We all want to be accepted.

00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:26.000
The thing is that sometimes we have these fears, or there's a lot of people out there that they struggle so much through their life.

00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:28.800
Because there's another face to this issue.

00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:35.440
There's a lot of people that they're suffering, they were suffering, let's say, for 15, 15, 20, 30 years, and they finally made it.

00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:44.559
Finally got a good job, they finally got a good partner, and they are so excited, they finally have this, yes, I can finally post something good.

00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:46.239
I'm so happy.

00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:50.000
And they're just excited to post it every single minute.

00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:54.960
They go to a restaurant, they eat and they order a dish, freaking french fries with cheese on top.

00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:55.440
They went.

00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:57.519
I'm kidding.

00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:04.960
But you know, they go to a restaurant with a great dish or whatever, and they just take a picture of it, and now they're posting the dish on social media.

00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:07.199
Remember that years ago you were like, What?

00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:07.920
Who does that?

00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:09.039
But people still do.

00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:13.760
They just put a post of their whatever they're eating, their drinks or whatever.

00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:18.559
And it's just because they feel like now this validation like finally made it.

00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:20.079
I'm here, I'm so excited.

00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:23.840
What?

00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:27.760
Oh no, yeah, but yeah, I remember that we went to a cruise probably eight years ago.

00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:31.280
And then she was taking pictures of the dish, and you were like, who tells that?

00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:31.920
Me?

00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:33.199
And I no, not you.

00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:34.480
Somewhere at the cruise.

00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:37.840
And I remember that you were like, who takes a picture of the dish?

00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:42.000
And some people, every everything they eat, they post it.

00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:44.400
In this, I'm at this restaurant.

00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:45.599
And there's nothing wrong with that.

00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:46.719
Nothing wrong with it.

00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:51.760
And I don't understand why that triggers me, stuff like that.

00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:53.679
Like, I should just be happy.

00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:57.679
That person is happy taking a picture of their dish.

00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:03.519
And that was the point I was trying to make, is that's something I'm trying to work on within myself.

00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:09.360
That was my point of, you know, why I get jealous of people or something like that.

00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:13.679
Like, why can't I just be happy for that person being happy in their moments?

00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:14.400
I don't know.

00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:18.320
But I get annoyed like for the validation seekers and stuff.

00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:21.119
Like, that annoys the crap out of me or the one uppers.

00:37:21.360 --> 00:37:22.880
That's why I shut our daughter down.

00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:25.360
I can imagine again going back to the stupid dishes.

00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.519
You see the dish, oh my god, it is so great.

00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:33.360
You take a picture of it, you post it online, and you're getting a bunch of reaction, you're not even eating it.

00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:36.800
And then you start eating it, it tastes like crap, you don't even finish it.

00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:38.960
And then people are asked too late.

00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:41.440
You already posted it, and you're like, Who's the meal?

00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:44.639
And the meal was like, I got two bites of that thing.

00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:45.280
Yeah.

00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:45.840
Yeah.

00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:46.480
Yeah.

00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:47.440
That's funny.

00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:47.760
Yeah.

00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:49.679
You were too excited with the looks.

00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:51.440
But there's a lot of people like that.

00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:58.559
But there's a lot of exercises out there to do for those out there that are looking like how to change these inner problems.

00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:12.079
Like now we've been talking about so many things, and I know some of these topics that resonate with a lot of people out there because every time I hear something, something kind of resonates with me and it makes me think about my life and how can I change it.

00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.000
There's a lot of tools out there online.

00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:18.320
So if you feel like today with this topic, oh yeah, I'm that kind of people.

00:38:18.559 --> 00:38:19.519
Yeah, I'm like that.

00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:25.440
But look at how tight, what kind of people you are, and then try to do some work and how to kinda work on those things.

00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:32.880
For instance, I like when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do, I I pray really quick, I do some meditation really quick.

00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:38.960
I try not to open my cell phone so I'm still kinda You wait till you're pooping.

00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:41.599
Half awake, not half half asleep.

00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:45.360
He waits till he's pooping.

00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:46.559
Seriously.

00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:48.239
Seriously, I was serious here.

00:38:48.480 --> 00:38:49.840
They don't poop in Colombia.

00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:52.880
He gets very embarrassed about pooping and party.

00:38:54.239 --> 00:38:56.400
Why are we talking about this though?

00:38:56.960 --> 00:38:58.239
Because it's real.

00:38:58.639 --> 00:39:03.519
When I get up in the morning, meditate and pray, trying to start my day.

00:39:03.679 --> 00:39:10.559
I have my cell phone next to me, discharging, but I'm getting emails for the night before and early in the morning.

00:39:10.639 --> 00:39:12.239
So I'm trying not to really open them.

00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:15.920
As soon as I open an email, your brain is gonna go that route.

00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:17.280
And I don't wanna go that route.

00:39:17.360 --> 00:39:18.480
You shouldn't go that route.

00:39:18.559 --> 00:39:26.400
You have to give yourself time to meditate or think about the day or pray, whatever you do.

00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:36.559
Try to find something that really resonates with you, and don't let the freaking cell phone take control over your day because it does.

00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:45.199
So my eyes are closed, but I'm waking up and I just kinda go with this kind of quick meditation, and I say that I'm gonna have a great day.

00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:49.519
Thankful for or thankful for, and then also I say I'm gonna have a great day.

00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:51.280
This is gonna be a great day.

00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:55.039
And at that point, I don't know what kind of crappy emails I have in my cell phone.

00:39:55.360 --> 00:40:00.000
But when I say that, I already setting up that it's gonna be a great day.

00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:13.679
So I start getting ready, and then yeah, I read the emails, and I even if I have a bad email or a crappy email that I have to reply or issue that I have at work, I already set up my mind that it's gonna be a good day.

00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:15.199
And that you have to do the same.

00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.599
That works so well, believe it or not.

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:27.360
So what happens when you wake up and you're trying to be grateful and thankful for all the things and you go through the list of things that you're thankful for?

00:40:27.519 --> 00:40:33.599
I'm so thankful for my husband, I'm so thankful for my kids, I have two great kids, what a great life we have.

00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:43.360
I'm so thankful that I can I don't have to rush off to a job, I can spend my day learning, growing, building a business, whatever.

00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:44.559
Great.

00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:56.800
And then I get out of bed, I go in and I brush my hair, do whatever, get ready to take my daughter to school, and I walk out and the dog shit in his crate.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.880
But that's some something that you fix really quick and you just move on because again, Well ain't real quick.

00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:05.760
I gotta stop it.

00:41:06.719 --> 00:41:08.000
Let's let's go to take an hour.

00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:14.159
I gotta fucking reprimand the dog, train the dog, wash the bedding, wash the crate.

00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:21.679
I know, okay, but that shouldn't that's But that's what people experience where they get caught in traffic and the whatever.

00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:23.199
Like it's all about okay.

00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:24.400
Let me tell you my thing.

00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:30.000
Okay, I already did my meditation and saying I'm gonna have a good day.

00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:30.239
Okay.

00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:31.760
And I got freaking crappy emails.

00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:34.559
I have 10 emails they text, emailing me from 4 a.m.

00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:35.760
God's 7 a.m.

00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:37.119
waiting for me to reply.

00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:38.639
They're adding more shit to it.

00:41:38.800 --> 00:41:39.519
You know what I do?

00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:42.719
I get in the shower, I just let it flow.

00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:44.000
I'm taking a shower.

00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:45.840
I have no control over this right now.

00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:47.119
I'm getting ready.

00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:48.639
I'm gonna let it I'm gonna let it flow.

00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:50.000
So hard.

00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:52.639
And yeah, my brain is still in my head.

00:41:52.719 --> 00:41:54.079
I'm building an email.

00:41:54.239 --> 00:41:55.119
What am I gonna say?

00:41:55.199 --> 00:41:55.840
What am I gonna do?

00:41:56.239 --> 00:41:58.000
You should be in the moment in the shower.

00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:08.480
And then I have when I get to the office or when I send an email before I go, things always for some reason work out good.

00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:11.440
Instead of just me spiraling.

00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:12.000
Yeah.

00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:15.119
For some reason, I already said that it's gonna be a good day.

00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:18.800
And all of a sudden in a half hour and two hours, it's all resolved.

00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:25.760
And or whoever is assisting me with the problem or however the day is going, it's not going as bad.

00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:27.760
Because I already set up my mind.

00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:35.599
And that was really hard for me to comprehend before, because years ago I used to say that I'm gonna have a good day.

00:42:36.239 --> 00:42:45.679
Five minutes after I'll get a freaking shitty call from my family, whatever, and I'll be just pissed off for the day of the for the rest of the day.

00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:49.920
It's because again, I just let in those actions to take control over my day.

00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:53.920
So what I'm hearing you say is I have a lot more work to do.

00:42:54.239 --> 00:42:55.599
Yeah, you have a lot more work to do.

00:42:57.440 --> 00:42:58.079
Yeah, oh yeah.

00:42:58.159 --> 00:43:00.000
Because this thing works for me is wonders.

00:43:00.079 --> 00:43:03.280
Before I used to have a meeting every single day.

00:43:03.519 --> 00:43:07.039
I do have a meeting every single day at 8.30, and then when at nine.

00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:12.719
And then that meeting at nine, I was like, I can't and then just talk about issues and this and that.

00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:15.039
And I'm like, I can do this, man.

00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:15.519
Yeah.

00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:19.519
And then I was just setting up my mind that something is to change.

00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:23.039
Something I don't know how I'm gonna really do this.

00:43:23.119 --> 00:43:28.159
I just don't want to go every day at nine and just gonna talk about issues and blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:35.199
And then for all of a sudden, weeks after, when I started setting up my mind that everything's gonna be okay, better, this is gonna change.

00:43:35.519 --> 00:43:38.079
Putting my thoughts into uh change.

00:43:38.320 --> 00:43:38.639
Yeah.

00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:44.000
The meetings got cut to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:45.280
Okay, that's better.

00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:47.599
Now I have a day to decompress.

00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:58.400
And then now that I know that those meetings are set and we're gonna talk about issues and this and that, I just go with my head that everything's gonna be okay.

00:43:58.880 --> 00:43:59.760
Before I would just draw.

00:44:00.719 --> 00:44:08.239
I know I'm going with a different perception, a different mentality, and then I go to the meetings and I just feel like everything is fine.

00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:12.639
Yeah, there's problems and crap when my mind is already set and everything is okay.

00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:21.760
It takes a lot of time to practice and to really believe it and to set that up because I know that something goes wrong in the morning sets the tone for you.

00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:23.599
Yeah, and that you shouldn't allow it.

00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:30.480
Which is something I'm really digging into and working on for sure, because you're a lot better at that than I am.

00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:35.199
Like you'll go to work in a good mood and you'll come home in a good mood most of the time.

00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:35.760
Yeah.

00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:39.920
And I'm honestly quite baffled by that a lot.

00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:41.519
But again, that was a lot of work.

00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:42.719
I feel like I just let go.

00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:46.960
Whatever is happening tomorrow, you feel about 7 30, 7 a.m.

00:44:47.199 --> 00:44:48.079
And it's crappy.

00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:49.119
You feel like holding it.

00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:52.719
You hold it in your mind and you're holding it so tight.

00:44:53.039 --> 00:44:55.280
And then you're thinking the possible outcomes.

00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:56.079
What are you gonna say?

00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:57.039
What are you gonna do?

00:44:57.199 --> 00:44:58.880
What is that rock that you're holding?

00:44:59.119 --> 00:45:00.639
How it makes you feel?

00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:03.039
In one hour, you just fucking drain.

00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:05.360
You're like, Jesus Christ.

00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:10.480
And your mind is spinning over and over and over again because you're just holding it too tight.

00:45:10.639 --> 00:45:16.880
But when you know that it's there, just imagine that the problem is there, but there's like nothing around it, nothing is holding it.

00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:18.079
You acknowledge it.

00:45:18.239 --> 00:45:21.199
Yeah, there's an issue, but I have no control over it.

00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:35.920
And then you just let it go, you just don't take it to you because I was taking everything so personally that would just take me, makes me angry for hours, and I would be just upset and disappointed, and I was just to wonder why am I in this position?

00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:38.239
Why did I do wrong in the past?

00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:40.320
This is not for me, blah blah blah blah blah.

00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:44.719
But now I just have a different approach that I acknowledge the issue, I leave it there.

00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:46.159
Yes, upset me.

00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:49.519
I'm not perfect, but I don't hold it.

00:45:50.079 --> 00:46:01.360
So that that goes into, I don't think we have time for this tonight, but that goes into the whole topic of stories that we tell ourselves and the loops that we continue in.

00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:08.239
That's another great topic I would love to talk to you about next time because that's something I get very stuck with.

00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:10.880
Oh the stories we tell ourselves.

00:46:11.119 --> 00:46:11.360
Yeah.

00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:14.559
That's a whole topic in and of itself, but yeah.

00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:16.159
Yeah, we will the next time.

00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:19.760
And again, this episode we just wanted to talk about the imposter syndromes.

00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:22.880
We talked about this, Kim and I, for two weeks.

00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:30.800
I was having a hard time with the word to really digest it, which because I don't really feel it as deep as you, Kim.

00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:33.360
I know I do have my phases where it's happening.

00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:41.039
I don't even acknowledge it, I don't even know that I'm having this kind of imposter syndrome going through me, but it's not as strong as others.

00:46:41.119 --> 00:46:44.079
I know there's a lot of people that really suffer with this.

00:46:44.320 --> 00:46:44.639
Yeah.

00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:47.840
And or to be confident to do something.

00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:54.719
Yeah, so there's always this battle and this always learning and growing that we just have to again push forward.

00:46:54.960 --> 00:46:56.480
And I guess very quick.

00:46:56.559 --> 00:46:58.239
Just go online, type it.

00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:00.800
In the near future, we're gonna start up in our website.

00:47:00.880 --> 00:47:08.159
We're gonna have some tools for you guys so you can download and things that actually work for us, nothing complicated, very simple.

00:47:08.400 --> 00:47:10.239
So you can read it, just kind of set the tone.

00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:11.119
That's all you need.

00:47:11.280 --> 00:47:27.679
Yeah, and this is something when you read it, if there's a video or whatever where we're gonna upload up there, because we're working on the content, it will be something that is just actually worked for us that we're gonna put thug into it, something that is actually very simple to do.

00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:30.559
Just read it, just try to apply it.

00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:32.159
You're not gonna lose anything.

00:47:32.960 --> 00:47:44.480
We would also love to hear about your experience and anything you might have to say or questions, and you can always email that to us at ken and kimpodcast at gmail.com.

00:47:44.559 --> 00:47:54.800
We would love to hear from you because I love learning from everybody else's experiences or just our own stories, experiences, whatever you got, share them with us.

00:47:55.119 --> 00:47:55.760
Right on.

00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:58.800
I'd love to continue learning and growing with you guys.

00:47:59.039 --> 00:48:00.159
All right, right on, Kim.

00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:00.960
All right, take care.

00:48:01.119 --> 00:48:01.920
Take care, bye bye.

00:48:02.159 --> 00:48:02.639
Bye.

00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:04.320
Hey there.

00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:08.159
If you like this episode, please like, share, and join our community.

00:48:08.320 --> 00:48:13.360
And check out our website at Ken and Kim Podcast.com for free tools and resources.

00:48:13.519 --> 00:48:14.880
We'll talk to you next time.